I feel like it is too dangerous to give me any kind of real stage so that I can be a part of mass media collage.

What if I have a breakdown? Also I am pretty much a real life madman.

It’s a stupid situation since I do want to be successful, admittedly everything I create might just be unappealing as well. In any case I poured my heart into my writing and photography and I haven’t really gotten any response from outside my circles.

It’s suspicious.

It’s becoming difficult to create anything, since it seems to be a dead end as a financial aspiration. If I were to just do therapeutic art I’d probably just sketch at this point, in fact, I think I’ll do that after I publish this.

I don’t want to live just to fight to see the next day anymore, when I am so tired.

I’ll hang on for those that love me though. I admit that is hardly a healthy mental state, I’ll continue drugging myself with caffeine, that does lift my spirits.

I’m allowed to be sad.