I Think I’m Special

Not sure that is a good thing. But when I hear “go to hell” I tend to fantasize about going to war against the forces of Satan. It’s kinda a smart-ass response. But honestly, who doesn’t want to wage war against the forces of evil? I mean, they be laying the hate on my cute humans, so I gotta go to hell to kill em all. (Honestly, I doubt I’d wind up there, I am super nice).



l also like that being a soldier or warrior is not shamed but glorified. Personally I don’t want to be shamed for fighting to protect who I love. It may be over-glorified to be fair, but if you are wise you can find a balance I am sure.

Ancient Iceland

Being politically pragmatic and anti dogmatic (with a seriously left outlook) I liked the anti power monopoly of the ancient Icelanders. Great Empires fall harder you know? I mean I have written about this before, I think the benefits outweigh the downsides of not being in a “great” or big empire. This is somewhat Marxist since it is about potentially creating strong local communities.

I Am Not Trying To Convert You

Having said that, my mind seems to prefer Pantheons to Monotheistic Gods. I feel like in a religion like Asatru, there is more to relate to, and I find that important. Also it is less totalitarian a regime by far than in a Abrahamic setting. The Gods are flawed in Asatru and therefore have more to teach about living in the real world as opposed to being obsessed with the afterlife. I still prefer Christian morals ideally though. It has become an internal struggle. I also like that you can be related to gods, it’s pretty neat. I feel like there is also more dialogue and openness to normal people being able to be alongside the gods, such as with the Einherjar who can fight during Ragnarok alongside the Gods. I childishly like to pretend that I could be a god in this Pantheon, which in Abrahamic faiths is blasphemy, and I am saddened and worried that being myself would be considered a crime.

My Child Self

I unironically prayed many a night for my loved ones before I was about nine years old, that’s when I learned about the inquisition. I honestly miss the sincere praying, my prayers are no longer known to be heard like back then.

The inquisition taught me that there are those in Catholicism and Christianity that just use religion to exploit, they have nothing to do with the faith. And so I lost my faith.

Not long after I was introduced to the concept of explaining all of creation with science, which had an appeal. But I eventually realized that humans are probably (in our current form at least) neither capable or intelligent enough to truly KNOW such a thing. So hence agnosticism has been my spiritual outlook for most of my adult life. And honestly, for now at least, I think being able to believe that there is more to reality, and that the magic of creation is indeed magical, than no meaning whatsoever is an extremely important thing for human psychology. We need meaning.

Short Entry

I feel like a neural implant monitoring brain function is closer than the neurallink that Musk’s team is working on. I am sure the idea isn’t new, but that would be possibly useful for people like me, you could possibly have an alert system for cognitive disruption during a breakdown. I could be a more socially integratable person then.



I have decided to concentrate on my photography from now on in terms of what I do creatively, in my photo journal my latest entry will be the last for the year. I will still be blogging as well. I am planning to publish the first two decades of my journal as a photobook in January 2020.

Edit: Bah! I started more fiction on wattpad, why not? I feel like it right now.