If I had to hate it would be them.

THE END

If we are making the militaries of Earth into monstrosities because “Aliens” then shame on whoever is fueling this garbage “have to be prepared for Aliens” narrative.

Everyone experiences schizophrenia in a unique way.

I was a nerdy child, I enjoyed reading about science and wanted to be a physicist in middle school, partially because of my obsession with space travel and science fiction. I loved Star Trek at this time and started reading science fiction. I loved “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” series when I was about ten with its science based humour. As a young child I also had a very optimistic outlook and was very positive about new developments and technologies and like most children in my situation didn’t worry about illness or death very much.

I was more engaged in extracurricular interests than school though I fully participated in classes and such, my schooling was disrupted due to moving between two continents in elementary and middle school and ended up never graduating high school due to parental interference from how I understand it. The reason of the move was that my parents split and my mother took me and my sister back to Austria where she is from.

I lived with my mother and sister overseas after my parent’s separation and eventually returned to Canada to live with my father in 1996. My father sadly was an alcoholic, and I sometimes regret moving in with him and leaving my mother’s protection. These years were when I started smoking and eventually started drinking in excess through my 20s.

In school I would be in groups of friends with similar interests but those social groups were also disrupted due to the big moves in my life, I still have contact with some people from middle school.

Instead of high school I gathered with a group of similar minded people during what should have been high school at the sentry box. I also still have contact with some of them, but schizophrenia was to hurt this social gathering.

Sadly, I did experiment with drug from the ages of 14-20, which included cannabis, which might have led to me developing this disease.

I had no symptoms as a child, I recall one so called bad trip when I was 17, which could be described as induced psychosis.

The first time I experienced non-drug induced psychosis was when I was 20 and was watching a film in the theatre with my girlfriend. It was sudden and noticeable as different to my norm. I was still able to identify that something was wrong and eventually went to seek medical attention. I was living in Austria at the time and had to return to Canada,

I was sent to the foothills medical centre for observation after explaining to a doctor what I was experiencing. I did not enjoy this, the place gave me the creeps to be honest, and though I am usually glad I have been given treatment I often lament the state of affairs in mental health and remind myself of conditions even just 50 years ago.

I went through a phase of denial until my late 20s. I did not want to have this disease.

Ultimately, I am voluntarily taking part in therapy since I went to seek help initially. Though there was an incident many years later where the police were involved around 2008.

I have been in mental wards in Calgary on over ten separate occasions and am medication resistant, so even though I have been taking prescribed anti-psychotics on schedule every time for over ten yers I have still been hospitalized several times during this period.

My family has been a big support for me, and I doubt I would be talking to you today if not for them. Sadly my father passed away recently who was often positive about my accomplishments and he will be missed.

I have been on at least five kinds of anti-psychotics. I like my current one and it was a bit of a pain to get on. I tend to sleep way too much, but if that means minimizing positive symptoms I put up with it.

I maintain contact with family and friends, I obviously have favourites, I don’t get to socialize as much as I would like or I used to, but I do get out.

I still experience a lot of dismissible thoughts of an unhelpful nature even when considered well, I try to channel these thoughts into fiction.

I experience stigmatization of the disease through the silent treatment; I stop hearing from people I care about.

Challenges include keeping a full-time job, I have worked over 10000 full-time hours in my 20s but the positions were usually just for a year, the best ones I was creatively dismissed from. I have worked many different kinds of full time jobs, usually for about a year at a time, including, deli clerk, dishwasher, truck driver, security guard, filing clerk, cashier, shelf stocker, and co-op boy. I also hold a pre-apprenticeship certificate for heavy duty technician.

I wanted to start a family for many years, but this has not been possible for me for what I believe to be obvious reasons. My relationships with women so far have all ended in tragedy.

Currently I am working part time at the SSA, I publish art in various mediums online for fun and profit, my favourite mediums are photography and the written word, I receive AISH and CPP-D to maintain myself at this point though. I started a small business a few years ago which I am working on, I hope to make it a successful one.

I recently took a break from studies at the University of Calgary, I was in the third year of my undergraduate program majoring in political science.

My thoughts on having the disease are that I would not wish it on people, it is often torturous, and torture is supposed to be illegal. I am positive seeing advances in medicine and being able to compare treatment from a century ago to now it is obvious to me that things can still improve and should.

http://coopcafeberlin.de

Why Has Critical Psychiatry Run Out of Steam?

Wars. So many wars. Diagnosis wars and medication wars. Wars against mental illness and wars against the mentally ill. Wars against psychopathology and wars out of psychopathology. Should we be at war, too, we, the intellectual critics of psychiatry? Is it really our duty to add fresh ruins to fields of ruins? More iconoclasm to iconoclasm? What has become of critical psychiatry? Has it run out of steam?

What has become of psychiatric critique, I wonder, when incompetent politicians, celebrity podcasters, snake-oil merchants, disgraced television hosts, and anti-vaxxers echo arguments scarcely different from those of academic critics? It does not seem to me that we have been as quick to prepare ourselves for new threats, new dangers, new tasks, new targets. Are we not like those mechanical toys that endlessly make the same gesture when everything else has changed around them?

A culture in the throes of conspiratorial thinking has set its sights on psychiatry, and this new world of discourse is a short step away from the respectable academics who call psychiatrists “shock doctors,” who compare the concept of mental illness to Santa Claus and think diagnoses are similar in validity to attributions of demonic possession, who think that psychiatric diagnoses are inherently stigmatizing and unscientific labels, that psychiatric medications are so ineffective and toxic that they cannot legitimately be called “treatments” and the best thing you can do is to avoid them and get off them, and that psychiatric interventions are backed by evidence that is comparable in scientific rigor to that for homeopathy. (IYKYK)

Do you see why I am worried? Those of us who intended to emancipate the public from prematurely naturalized objectified psychiatric facts, perhaps we were foolishly mistaken. We seem to be approaching a point where the real danger is no longer coming from an excessive confidence in ideological arguments posturing as matters of fact but from an excessive distrust of good matters of fact disguised as bad ideological biases.

It is about time we bring the sword of criticism to critical psychiatry itself and do a bit of soul-searching here: what were we really after when we were so intent on showing the social construction of psychiatric knowledge? There is no sure ground even for criticism. Isn’t this what criticism intended to say: that there is no sure ground anywhere? But what does it mean when this lack of sure ground is taken away from us by the worst possible fellows as an argument against the things we cherish?

Once, to show that diagnoses were constructed was to resist reification, to remind psychiatry of its entanglement with culture, politics, and values. Now, the same refrain is repurposed by movements that reject the reality of disability and ridicule professional attempts to alleviate suffering. The very tools of critique, once marshaled against premature certainty and biomedical hubris, are redeployed to erode trust in any psychiatric knowledge whatsoever. What has critical psychiatry become when its gestures of suspicion are indistinguishable from the paranoid accusations of medicine’s most fraudulent enemies?

What has become of critical psychiatry that it has no notion of disability to offer that makes demands on the state? What has become of critical psychiatry when the only experiences that count are the experiences of harm? What has become of critical psychiatry when the very arguments it honed for emancipation are now echoed in the mouths of those who would deny the existence of mental illness altogether and defund mental healthcare? What has become of critical psychiatry when its arguments are analogues of the arguments used by gender criticals and anti-vaxxers?

The critical mind, if it is to renew itself and be relevant again, is to be found in the cultivation of a stubborn practical realism dealing with matters of concern. Matters of fact, in the positivistic mindset, are supposed to stand on their own, detached from politics, culture, values, or the conditions under which the facts are produced. This is misleading, because it hides all the work, controversy, negotiation, and uncertainty that goes into the process of knowledge creation. Scientific knowledge is embedded in networks of care, debate, and responsibility. Matters of fact are more akin to gatherings of many different elements, actors, and interests (scientists, instruments, funding, political stakes, human values, risks, and uncertainties). 

The mistake we made was to believe that there was no way to criticize psychiatric matters of fact except by moving away from them and directing one’s attention toward the conditions that made them possible. The mistake we made was to rely on anti-fetishism, a habitual posture of critique that prides itself on unmasking beliefs, exposing illusions, and revealing hidden powers behind what people take to be real.

The better critic is not the one who alternates haphazardly between anti-fetishism and positivism, but the one for whom, if something is constructed, then it means it is fragile and thus in great need of care and caution. All diagnoses and formulations are born things. All psychiatric knowledge requires, in order to exist, a bewildering variety of matters of concern.

The traditional gesture of critical psychiatry was to pour the acid of suspicion on the facts cherished by the field: to dismantle the authority of diagnostic categories, to reveal the fragility of trial results, to show how treatments and theories were shaped by culture and commerce. To criticize psychiatry by moving away from its facts, by treating every diagnosis as illusion, every trial as propaganda, leaves us with nothing but rubble.

The time has come to ask: have we been fighting the wrong enemies? Perhaps our task is not to subtract reality from psychiatry’s categories but to add to them. Not to debunk diagnostic concepts until they collapse, but to accompany them more closely, to follow the way they bring information into a precarious, contested form. The challenge before us is to get closer to the states of madness, disturbance, and suffering. If patients’ anguish is reduced to discursive invention, if clinicians’ attempts at care are dismissed as ideological imposition, what remains for psychiatry to be about?

If critique has grown sterile, it is because psychiatry has been forced to live between two impoverished poles of fact and fetish. Diagnoses are either nothing but projections or they are immutable truths. Treatments are either instruments of domination or they are disease-remedying interventions. Why not break the binaries? We need not reduce depression or schizophrenia to empty constructs nor canonize them as disease entities but treat them as tentative, preliminary steps in our organization of knowledge, a fragile gathering of symptoms, histories, neurochemistries, and cultural narratives, steps that coexist and collaborate with other such tentative, preliminary, fragile epistemic efforts.

Critical psychiatry too often treats heterogeneity as an inconvenience and narrows its gaze to social and structural responses, sidelining other registers of explanation. Neurophysiological and neuropathological factors are acknowledged in the abstract but waved away in the specifics, even as actors within a braided, multi-factorial story. Yet mental health problems arrive as a motley assembly in the clinical world: in one case or another, they are sometimes better described as faulty physiological or psychological mechanisms, extremes on continua, evolutionary mismatches, evolutionary adaptations, problems of living, maladaptive learning, poorly accommodated cognitive styles, unconscious conflicts, sequelae of trauma, varied responses to interpersonal and psychosocial stressors, neuroimmune disorders, and so forth. These problems are complex, value-laden, and multidimensional to a degree that strains tidy schemas, but they are not discontinuous with the rest of medicine and not impossible to study scientifically. They can’t be mapped by a simple categorical grid; they require a multi-perspective cartography that attends to dimensional, developmental, and idiographic aspects while still producing pragmatic classifications with clinical utility and scientific bite.

Treatments likewise tend to have broad, transdiagnostic effects across mental functions. Trials may be anchored to a target diagnosis, but the causal traffic usually runs through mechanisms that cut across our labels. “Physiological,” “psychological,” and “sociocultural” are not sealed ontological provinces; they are overlapping languages for a single, complicated reality. The neurophysiological strand is one thread among many—experiential, sociocultural, existential—and not always the most important one. Even so, because the mind is embodied, bodily mechanisms can be leveraged to produce desired effects, whether or not they count as “dysfunctional” in any simple factual sense.

We should resist a priori privileges for either technological fixes or hermeneutic readings. The posture must be Jaspersian: causal explanation and meaningful understanding as partners, with their relevance varying case by case and context by context. The perspectives of disease, dimensions, behavior, and life story all belong in the same forum. In that spirit, psychotropic medications earn their keep by modulating mechanisms and processes involved in mental functioning and that participate in the production and maintenance of symptoms. Explanations of therapeutic effects trace interactions between drug effects and psychopathology across multiple levels of description. Let medications be treated as they are—pharmaka that can heal and harm. We need a pharmacology that acknowledges ambivalence, uncertainty, and iatrogenesis, treating drugs as assistive technologies and supporting will and preferences.

We should borrow the philosophical pragmatist’s toolkit and aim for an assembled realism that refuses both factand fetish: disorders are real as patterns that work across levels, yet corrigible when those patterns fray. Values are not impurities to eliminate; they are integral components of the fabric. Let go of the habit of comparing a value-laden psychiatry to an allegedly objective somatic medicine, a contrast that doesn’t hold and that punishes those whose bodies and minds fail to match a conjured norm. The terrain of diagnosis is made and remade by patients, clinicians, researchers, and the public together. Categories can be recognized as constructed without collapse.

The creation of knowledge is a delicate, collective process. It requires avenues of criticism, uptake of criticism, public standards, and tempered equality. It requires a diversity of fallible standpoints. Let critique make room for the voices of patients, for the ambiguities of neuroscience, for the textures of culture, for the uncertainties of practice, and for the wisdom of clinicians.

If something in psychiatry is constructed, this should be taken not as proof of its falsity but as a sign of its fragility as well as its strength—it’s something in need of care to exist and something that is made strong by virtue of that concern.

Learn more:

• My chapter “Psychiatry and the Critical Landscape” in Conversations in Critical Psychiatry
• Robert Chapman (Neurodiversity and Capitalism), “A Critique of Critical Psychiatry”
• Cresswell & Spandler, “Psychopolitics: Peter Sedgwick’s legacy for the politics of mental health.”
• Alastair Morgan, “Continental Philosophy of Psychiatry”
• Jesse Meadows, “Unshrunk and MAHA: A Diagnosis-Critical Case Study”
• Helen Longino, “The Fate of Knowledge”
• Peter Zachar, “A Metaphysics of Psychopathology”
• Sanneke de Haan, “Enactive Psychiatry”

So many people are fellow travellers, who I am grateful for.

I just wish some people were bigger presences in my life.

I am very frustrated that the world is ruled by merchants of death.

He was an intelligent man and epic host and a dear friend who I enjoyed conversation with to no end, he will be missed.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION!

GOOD BYE!

If there is a refuge for hate, and there appears to still be many, it should definitely be fought.

Being in the “mentally ill” group of people gives me a personal reason to fight such refuges of hate.

Though one shouldn’t have to have a personal reason to fight something as evil as hate.

I will try and explain again more coherently how faith works in my mind at the time of writing this.

I lean towards faith and side with “good” as I understand it. I have no concrete proof beyond the remarkable configuration of the universe that allows it and us to exist, to my mind it seems far too unlikely to be happenstance, a view I developed in my mid-30s.

I accept that many laws are good because of thousands of years of experience but favor change in relevant areas when we live in a golden age such as we do now with an excess of material wealth running on systems designed for resource scarcity, hence I consider myself some type of post-capitalist on the left side of the popular political spectrum in many, but not all manners.

I don’t know that there will be an afterlife, but I favor it being possible and act as if I am in some manner immortal. I favor the supernatural in creation (though don’t know as much as I would like of the systems of our species have lavishly communicated about), so it seems that something, to me, as miraculous as a single life to be important enough to guarded by whatever creators we have. I see the uniqueness of each human as a virtue a kind Deity would appreciate and protect.

When it comes to punishment and such, I still believe that a short blink of a life in this realm eternal hellfire for sinners is overkill and prefer to think that a just God would punish as is befitting of whatever was going wrong in someone’s actions.

That the Germans could kill millions of human beings just because they had a different faith was utterly inexplicable to me. My whole moral world view shattered, got entwined with a rigorous rejection of my parents and school. If religion had not prevented this mass destruction of human beings, then it is no good for anything, then the whole talk of love of your neighbor and of meekness… was just a lie.

Eberhard Knodler-Bunte

21st century capitalism/imperialism… equals EXTERMINISM!

RUSSELL “MAROON” SHOATS

I wish that party had never ended.

IRC : steelvadi

Back on DALNET #ebooks around 2007 I had an IRC girlfriend who was physically over 10000 km away, it didn’t work out.

I got some nice eBooks though.

It wasn’t meant to be. 😦

Also I wonder if one can still find fan subbed video content with IRC tags built into the soft-subs?

IRC : steelvadi

Turning the Tide

Marxist-Christian Dialogue
José Manuel Pureza

Jun 03, 2024

There is a common-sense view, which has built up over more than a century, according to which the mere hypothesis of a dialogue between Marxists and Christians causes a strange feeling of discomfort or even revolt. The other side of this common sense is evidently the total lack of strangeness or discomfort (and much less revolt) if the hypothesis is that of a dialogue between Christians and liberals, conservatives, or nationalists.

In fact, this sense of strangeness does no more than express the dominant discourses, built up for many decades in both the Christian and Marxist fields, that give voice to the conservative side of each of these two cultures. For these dominant discourses, Christianity and Marxism are, by definition, enemies of each other. In this framework of anathemas, Marxism is condemned by Christianity for professing a militant atheist materialism, which accepts violence presented as class struggle, and thus stands as the ‘enemy of religion’. In turn, Christianity is seen by Marxism as a disembodied spiritualism destined to alienate the masses and make exploitation and oppression tolerable, and thus is the ‘opium of the people’.

In other words, the hegemony of conservatives, both in the Catholic and Marxist fields, has produced a common sense of irreconcilable incompatibility between the two worldviews, while devaluing what stands beyond the visions — the practice, the public action, the daily interventions in society.

In this discourse, there is a confusion between hegemony and uniqueness. However, no culture is monochrome. All cultures are internally composite and heterogeneous. Stating this principle of internal diversity requires distinguishing, within each culture, their elements of transformation and their elements of conservation. And, based upon this exercise of distinction, we are challenged to foster dialogues between the transformative and emancipatory dimensions of different cultures, to find strong supports for struggles for the liberation of individuals and communities.

To carry out this exercise, Michael Löwy employs the concept of ‘elective affinities’ that Max Weber developed in his analysis of the relationship between Protestantism and capitalism. Löwy identifies six areas of general affinity between Marxism and Christianity (especially in its Catholic version): a) the liberation of the oppressed; b) the valorisation of the poor as victims of an unjust relationship; c) internationalism/wholeness; d) the emphasis on community against the primacy of selfish individualism; e) the critique of the logic of reification and accumulation; and f) the hope for a future of justice and freedom.

Löwy emphasizes the need for ‘a peculiar constellation of events’ for a virtual affinity to become effective reality. It is based on this reasoning that Löwy identifies the 1960s as a first moment of realisation of elective affinities between Christianity and Marxism, as mentioned above. The ‘peculiar constellation of events’ that allowed this to happen was, on the Catholic side, the theological renewal resulting from the Second Vatican Council and the creation, in that context, of the Secretariat for Dialogue with Non-Believers, and, on the Marxist side, the critique of Stalinism at the Twentieth Congress of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union and the emergence, both in the theoretical and political fields, of critical Marxist currents in which neo-Gramscianism has had great prominence. This ‘peculiar constellation of events’ allowed for two concrete experiences of elective affinities between Christianity and Marxism to be realised, as identified by Löwy. Firstly, the three rounds of dialogue between Marxists and Christians in Europe, organized by the Paulus Gesselshaft, led by Erich Kellner, which saw the participation of prominent figures from both fields: Rahner, Metz, Calvez, and Girardi in the Catholic field, and Garaudy, Bloch, or Lombardo Radice in the Marxist field.. The second intense experience of dialogue was Liberation Theology: In fact, more than a dialogue between different groups, Liberation Theology assumes the Marxist reading of social contradictions as an analytical support for a more robust Christian commitment to social transformation guided by the Gospel.

The time we are living in constitutes, in my opinion, a second ‘peculiar constellation of events’ that allows for the realisation of the elective affinities between Marxism and Christianity which we have previously outlined. I believe there are three peculiar events shaping this time. Firstly, the radicalisation of the basic characteristics of capitalism, often referred to as late capitalism. The globalisation of productive forces and relations, and the financialisation of the global economy, are peculiar events of late capitalism that stimulate responses of resistance and variously derived alternatives (including Marxism and Christianity). Secondly, the globalisation of capitalism is being sustained by an unstoppable process of the predation of natural resources, leading to an irreversible framework of climate catastrophe with varying effects and responsibilities among the different peoples of the planet. Finally, late capitalism constitutes a new phase in the relationship between labour and capital marked by the generalisation of precariousness, labor segmentation, the consequent weakening of unions, the rise of the gig economy, etc.

There are significant signs indicating that these ‘peculiar events’ have a considerable impact in both the Marxist and Catholic fields. In the latter, we should emphasise, first and foremost, the recognition by the Social Doctrine of the Church of the existence of ‘structural sins’ or ‘structures of sin’, that is, modes of ‘normal’ functioning of structures such as international trade or the international division of labour that objectively result in a massive denial of God in the other (sin, in the Catholic tradition). Secondly, the Social Doctrine of the Church has been making its condemnation of capitalist economy and social organisation more unequivocal: ‘this economy kills’, wrote Francis in the exhortation Evangelii Gaudium. Finally, in the recent teaching of the Catholic Church, there is an undeniably important emphasis on the place of the poor and the care for the common home as theological categories. Texts like Laudato Si or Fratelli Tutti, coming from the Church, give voice to an inclusive critical thought with which many Marxists identify.

Audience with the Pope

A dialogue between the transformative and emancipatory components of both Christianity and Marxism, in order to make the elective affinities between them a common ground for changing social relations — this must be the sense of an encounter between the two cultures. 

In his speech of 10 January 2024, during the audience with a delegation from DIALOP (Platform of Dialogue between Marxists and Christians) Pope Francis stated that ‘at a time marked by conflicts and divisions at various levels, let us not lose sight of what can still be done to turn the tide.’

Ten years before, in a meeting with a delegation from transform! which launched DIALOP as a formalised process of dialogue between Christians and Marxists, Francis had stated that no single power in the entire world had enough forces to respond alone to the then most decisive problems of humankind: care for the Earth, our common home, the struggle against the dominant throwaway culture and the need to place the poor at the core of all politics.

The tide, to use the Pope’s words, kept getting more threatening since that historical meeting. It is a global threat made of a triple hegemony or perverse forces. First, the hegemony of war and violence as continuation of politics by other means. During the three decades of unipolarity that followed the end of the Cold War, liberal interventionism in both the internal and external peripheries of the world-system was wrapped in a discourse of transformation without war. The illusion that the world was approaching Kant’s ideal of perpetual peace was just that: an illusion. Global liberalisation was a social war cohabiting with military peace. In other words, the Cold War was succeeded by a cold peace, as all victors’ peaces are cold. However, the problem is that this cold peace of the unipolar moment is now followed by scenarios of hot war, because of the replacement of unipolarity by the typical disorder of multipolar reality. This is the time of the ‘Third World War in pieces’, as Pope Francis has called it. And this includes, with increasing likelihood, scenarios of nuclear destruction. 

The second hegemony that makes up the threatening tide we must face is the hegemony of resignation to climate catastrophe, as today expressed by governments and the most powerful political and economic actors. Despite repeated warnings from the global scientific community, political practice and economic dynamics are steadily cutting back nearly all the commitments that states have made in successive international agreements. The courage and creativity required for an effective and just energy transition are being replaced by stubbornness in preserving a mode of production and wealth accumulation that is responsible for the environmental disaster. The apparent peace of irresponsibility is the disguise of a war against the climate. 

The third hegemony that constitutes the threatening tide is the growing hegemony of the far right and its responses to the challenges of diversity, migration, women’s rights, and the rights to autonomy for all. The rise of the far right worldwide is fuelling strategies to push back equality and create an unequal hierarchy of rights. It deeply threatens social cohesion and the democratic construct, replacing them with violent polarisation and populist superficiality. The ideological war fuelled by the far right is a war against a society open to the rights of all individuals and against a social transformation that expands the universe of these rights.

The dialogue between Marxists and Christians makes sense as a common pursuit of counter-hegemonic perspectives that enable turning the tide and building a transversal social ethics whose central references are the full emancipation of individuals and peoples, a comprehensive ecology, and positive peace.

World War in Pieces

Can peace be another elective affinity between Christianity and Marxism? If so, on what terms? And is there a peculiar constellation of events that paves the way to turn that affinity into concrete proposals?

‘The world is being traversed by a growing number of conflicts that are transforming what I have repeatedly defined as the Third World War in pieces into a true global conflict’. This was the Pope’s warning in his address to the diplomatic corps at the Holy See earlier this year. And he added: ‘If we could fix each one of them [the civilian victims of wars] in our eyes, call them by name, and evoke their personal story, we would see war as it is: nothing more than a huge tragedy and a useless massacre that wounds the dignity of every person on this Earth’.

The alternatives outlined by Francis in the face of the escalation of global
war involve reallocating resources destined for armaments to establishing a global fund for the eradication of hunger and the promotion of sustainable development, political investment in multilateral disarmament negotiations, and the demand for compliance with international humanitarian law in ongoing conflicts.

But what stands out in this Pope’s thinking about the Third World War in pieces is that it does not arise merely, nor primarily, as an expression of the personal wickedness of political and personal leaders, nor of a state-centric geostrategic thinking feeding power at all costs. In Francis, war is one of the components of a social system (de)regulated by a throwaway culture. This culture  manifests itself in the preservation of a capitalist economic system that produces poverty and precariousness — the ‘economy that kills’, as he wrote, and that assaults the Earth, our common home, pushing it towards the climate catastrophe that will affect everyone, but especially the most vulnerable: the poor and future generations. It is this throwaway culture that forces the desperate flight of multitudes of migrants, exposing them to slavery, human trafficking, and even death.

War as an expression of a system rooted in throwaway culture is a formulation that brings Christians and Marxists closer. The Marxist conception of war as a result of imperialism, with this being conceived as an advanced stage of capitalist voracity for supply and consumption markets, ultimately grounds war in the exploitative essence of the capitalist mode of production. Exploitation in Marxist theory, the ‘throwaway’ in the Catholic construct — but in both, the same concern to see war as a phenomenon structurally founded in society. 

But this convergence between explanations of war is just one dimension of the possible common ground between Marxists and Christians in the face of the globalisation of the Third World War in pieces. The policies of response and alternative to war are the other dimension where there is room for debate and where it is more necessary than ever. Marxism and Christianity both refute the liberal fiction of the ‘war to end wars’ which, in practice, has only been a device for legitimising successive imperial wars. And both also distance themselves from a passive pacifism disconnected from social and economic reality. To both fictions, Marxism and Christianity oppose the urgency of social justice and positive peace.

Harmony and Conflict

Struggle among classes, peace among peoples. At the core of the Marxist culture lies the notion that social conflict is the engine of history, that the contradiction of interests between the ruling class and the dominated class is the central element of social reality, and that it is the permanent dialectic between these interests that leads to long advances and short setbacks in the historical process.

This positive and dynamic view of social conflict challenges a superficial and naive outlook, often embraced in the Christian field, which opposes it with a sort of universal call for harmony that confuses conflict with violence and, covertly, seeks to stifle conflicts and the differences of interests they express.

Now, Francis does not adopt this harmonistic view and proposes a much more complex conception which he calls ‘political love’ in the encyclical Fratelli Tutti: 

(…) love, overflowing with small gestures of mutual care, is also civic and political, and it makes itself felt in every action that seeks to build a better world. For this reason, charity finds expression not only in close and intimate relationships but also in macro-relationships: social, economic and political. This political charity is born of a social awareness that transcends every individualistic mindset: social charity makes us love the common good, it makes us effectively seek the good of all people, considered not only as individuals or private persons, but also in the social dimension that unites them (pars. 181 and 182). 

At the core of political friendship — as the antithesis of the exacerbation of individualism and the tendency to take inherent competition to the limits of the impulse for subjugation or even elimination of the other — is, therefore, social justice that gives cohesion and creates community.

The dialogue between Marxists and Christians today finds a privileged terrain in the identification of convergences on social-justice policies that neutralise the culture of war. What gives meaning to the centrality that both Marxists and Christians attribute to this strategic function of social justice is their common reference to the notion of positive peace. Conceptualised by Johan Galtung as the antithesis of violences — in the plural, to encompass not only physical violence but also structural and cultural violence — positive peace assumes a programmatic nature, a process, a dynamic of construction rather than simply a static denial of war. Positive peace is this program of social, economic, and cultural transformation that has emancipation as its guiding value and that aspires not only to end the most evident expressions of violence but also to act on the deeper and systemic determinants of violent conflict. Positive peace is peace far beyond pacification.

Join Forces

Yes, there is a peculiar constellation of events that not only allows but also demands for the elective affinity between Christians and Marxists concerning peace to become a concrete programme of action. It is nothing less than a terrifying constellation: European leaders’ acceptance of nuclear war as a possible scenario, the assumption of investment in the arms industry as a priority for the leading economies of global capitalism, and the impunity of genocidal strategies like the one being implemented in Gaza. 

Against this terrifying tide of militarisation and radicalisation of the Third World War in pieces, Christians and Marxists are called to join forces around a counter-hegemonic  perspective that gives absolute priority to social justice and positive peace at all scales.

So what if it is a bit silly?

Why is no one speaking to me on the web?

I am seriously vain about my ability to stare at death and hell and destroy the enemies of humankind in my head.

I am just ashamed it is all in my head and I probably don’t actually get to kill these demons for all eternity.

The videogames that let you do this help. Thanks to Blizzard Entertainment and ID software.

That philosophical and religious conflict belongs in the academy as a debate not on the battlefield.

I can’t emphasize enough that if something in your thought process isn’t working to your satisfaction to write your thoughts if you are able to.

Hence the strange posts in the last few months.

Grouping people is a LAST RESORT!

I renounce fanaticism.

I think is INTOLERABLE to treat the less intelligent like vermin.

POO YUCK SHAME ON WHOEVER DOES THIS!

I need a place to stay.

I won’t get into the personal, but politically Alberta is awful for the poor currently! And Calgary is the worst of the urban centers!

So far Mainz seems to be better.

I’d add don’t torture each other.

If I owned humanity I would make these laws.

But nobody owns humanity, and no one should.

Just to be clear, exploitation and repression are forms of torture, which lead to conflict, which can lead to murder.

Respect makes the empires fall.

END THE ILLEGAL US BLOCKADE OF CUBA NOW

END US INTERFERENCE AND PROVOCATIONS NOW

The Communist Party strongly condemns the 64 year old US economic blockade of Cuba which 

is a major contributor to the current economic difficulties in Cuba including a shortage of food 

and electricity. This is the whole purpose of the US blockade as stated in this 1960 US State 

Department memo: 

“every possible means should be undertaken promptly to weaken the economic life of 

Cuba…to decrease monetary and real wages, to bring about hunger, desperation, and the 

overthrow of government.”

US efforts to overthrow the Popular Unity government of Salvador Allende in Chile used the 

same methods to “make the economy scream” and to turn the people against the government, 

as US war criminal Henry Kissinger succinctly put it. In Chile a fascist coup d’etat engineered in 

the US led to a bloodbath.

In Cuba, the Cuban people and their government have resisted and prevailed for 64 years.

The Cuban people have every reason to protest and object to the US blockade that has created 

such hardship for the people and the government of Cuba whose socialist society has been 

under relentless attack since the defeat of the gangster Batista government – supported by the 

US – in 1959.

Statements by the US Embassy in Cuba that the Cuban government should “respect human 

rights” and “attend to the needs of the people” are ludicrous in the cold light of history and the 

reality of the last 64 years of US attempts to overthrow the Cuban government, assassinate its 

leaders, invade the country, sicken its people with chemical and biological warfare, threaten its 

trading partners, and starve the Cuban people into submission to US imperialism’s diktat.

Canadians will not be surprised at these actions by the US, as they hear daily news reports of US 

support for Israel’s genocidal assault on Gaza.

Cuba’s foreign policy – in contrast – is for peace, sovereignty and independence, and it is known 

around the world for exporting teachers and educators, doctors, nurses, and vaccines to 

COMMUNIST PARTY

OF CANADA

CENTRAL COMMITTEE

PARTI COMMUNISTE

DU CANADA

COMITÉ CENTRAL

I choose to practice some things before they are socially acceptable, which can be dangerous to be brief.

How’s that for a dissertation title?

I don’t really want to study that unholy hitler book though.

Shamefully, the Canadian government continues to support Israel.

The Communist Party calls for an immediate and permanent ceasefire, an end to the genocidal siege of Gaza, the withdrawal of all Israeli troops, and the creation of a Palestinian state in accordance with UN resolutions. 

Our party continues to be a lone political voice opposing the war in Ukraine, calling for a negotiated political solution, withdrawal of all foreign troops and ending all arms exports and funding for war.  The danger of an expanded war, or a nuclear war in Europe, grows with every day this war continues. 

Parliament’s support for the expansion of NATO, for NORAD, and for deploying Canadian warships to the South China Sea and the Taiwan Straits to “patrol” with US warships in Chinese, Vietnamese, and Korean waters is a provocation that could easily lead to war.   Just imagine Chinese warships and jet fighters patrolling the Georgia straights in BC, or the Atlantic off the shores of the Maritimes.  This is a tinderbox.

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The War at Home

While corporate profits and interest rates soared, working people saw their wages and living standards plunge, their healthcare and post-secondary education privatized, Canada Pension Plan under attack, evictions and mortgage defaults skyrocket, and hunger and homelessness surge. 

The Communist Party is the only party to campaign for legislation to roll-back and freeze prices on food, fuel and rents; and to slash interest rate hikes that have led to personal and small business bankruptcies, the evaporation of workers’ savings; along with lay-offs and Job losses, and deep cuts to real wages and living standards.

In November the Communist Party again mobilized on Parliament Hill, delivering over 6,000 petitions to PM Trudeau demanding the government roll-back prices, interest rates, and corporate profits; and raise real wages and living standards now.

We will continue our fight to roll-back corporate power and profits and to fight for fundamental change and for socialism, where the working class is in the driver’s seat and the needs and aspirations of working people are the agenda.

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We fight for Working People – and Socialism

Winning working people to recognize and act on their class interests, is a key part of the struggle for fundamental change and socialism.  This includes combatting the new McCarthyism that equates socialism and fascism, and that threatens free speech and democracy, that flourishes on the fertile ground of mass disinformation and corporate controlled media and communications and thrives in conditions of economic and social insecurity – and war.

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Your donation will buy leaflets and banners, publish journals, pay for travel and organizing, keep the lights on in our offices and keep our slim staff on the road organizing and campaigning, building the struggle for peace, environmental justice, national, racial, and gender equality, democracy, workers’ unity and solidarity, for fundamental social change, and for socialism.

In anticipation of your generous support, our appreciation and thanks.   We couldn’t do it without you!

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Thank you for your generous and ongoing support!

Yours in the Struggle,

Elizabeth Rowley

Leader, Communist Party of Canada

Why not make something kinda like the stock market instead of the monstrosity we currently have, something that allows everyone to participate in a meaningful way? My friend Luke mentioned why use money, why not just seriously democratize the damned thing and get to votes and commitees that actually meet?

I want to be a part of the gaming industry in a meaningful way for example, but I find myself functionally shunned from a company who’s creations I adore (Nintendo). It would be cool to be a voice in that company and I find this is an impossible task to accomplish in my current situation.

I even jokingly tried to make a kickstarter for buying Nintendo to become its owner, the rediculous multi-trillion yen sum was not possible to enter though, so that kickstarter was not postable. 😛

Honorable mention of the code teaching game/tool “game builder garage”. That’s some serious stuff I would like to see more of!

You know, I applied and appealed but they wouldn’t give me this credit.

It IS geared towards visible disabilities so not entirely surprising, and I did survive in an apartment for a while alone, so I can see how they could dismiss me as “too healthy”.

I beg to differ though, my psychiatrist and family doctor filled it out without much or any dialogue with me and therefore it’s probably wrong.

So I am going to try and apply again, I have little to financially gain from it probably, but it’s the principle of the thing.

Reasons I dispute this decision, I appear best when interacting with people (to me the highest form of intellectual interaction) which makes my disrupted thought process when not actively mentally engaged in something indeed INVISIBLE. People need to rest, but when I don’t engage my mind it wanders and thinks unhelpful things automatically almost, which are sometimes self-harm inducing thoughts. This is a MAJOR disruption to my ability to live on my own without people around me! When I did live alone sure I survived, but a lot of it was torture and the doctor just dismissed me, he never engaged with me as a person and just treated me like a science project. Also while living alone I stopped grooming properly and generally (while on a previous medication) did nothing but watch TV all day.

So I hope to be approved next time I apply, I plan to discuss it with my current psychiatrist.

Wish me luck.

Schizophrenia is yucky to experience, I wish it on no living being.

I have an idea for publishing a rough outline for a dissertation, might publish on academia.edu if feeling cute enough.

If you follow me you know I have been working on a fandom wiki listing all my works of fiction with basic information on the various stories.

I wish to build a master novel with a grand narrative that makes use of the characters and minimalist concept demos as much as possible, breathing more life into my creations.

Wish me luck, it is rewarding to use my mind as I please instead of lending it to empire. I’ll try to make the novel wholesome overall.

I started drinking and smoking in my teens, I felt responsible as a member of the white community.

Though not as addicted as before, I wish I had a more carefree childhood. I am not saying don’t show people history, but be aware that some children/teens might respond violently with self harm.

I am not able to wash my hands of this guilt, though I have realized that obsessing over it just leads to poor behaviour, whether inward turned or out. It’s just that the brutality made me sick in those videos, knowing life in a time of plenty as an infant.

As mentioned before in this blog, if it were possible every human needs to have a tailored experience when living on earth, this is a perfection I strive for, but know is impossible in our imperfect reality.

Your hunger for power might wind you up a slave to a mighty empire on a lonely throne.

It’s not something to pursue for any human.

Who wants to be this?

I really do love the concept of dead ancestors becoming spirits.

Someone discuss this with me.

Poor Che, his manner of execution didn’t help my mental state in the slightest. If you have a strong stomach for such things look it up if you can.

“Wherever death may surprise us, let it be welcome, provided that this our battle cry may have reached some receptive ear and another hand may be extended to wield our weapons.” – Che Guevara

Exploitation is to be avoided when humanity becomes stupendously wealthy like it is now and according to Marx already was wealthy enough to avoid exploitation at the time he wrote his works in.

To me the most valuable insight he had to share.

I humbly add my own insight that current weapons technological kill capacity means we can’t recreate the conditions of something like Red October now. We must find new ways for communism and its related movements of non-exploitation to manifest. How this will happen I do not currently know, though getting through to people with access to these mass-murdering weapons I believe to be important.

While Parliament seeks to wash its hands of the spectacle of its two standing ovations for a Nazi collaborator whose Waffen SS Division murdered hundreds of thousands of Ukrainians and Poles from 1943 to 1945, the truth is that thousands of fascist troops were brought to live in Canada, the US, and the UK as part of the Cold War.  In Canada, welcoming Nazis, war criminals, and collaborators was Canadian government policy.

More than 2,000 Nazi war criminals and collaborators were brought into Canada, given jobs and citizenship for two purposes:  first, to turn the public against the Soviet Union (and socialism) which had been a war time ally supported by millions of Canadians and working people around the world.  The Cold War propagandists worked hard to revise history and to equate socialism and fascism as one and the same enemy.  As a result, younger generations are confused about Canada’s role in World War II, with significant numbers believing that Canada fought against Russia, though 27 million Soviets died fighting Hitler fascism.  Further, 4.5 million Ukrainians fought Hitler fascism in the Soviet Red army, and 250,000 more fought in the resistance movement – many times the 80,000 Nazi collaborators and volunteers in the Waffen SS Division.

These Nazi collaborators and volunteers in the Waffen SS were not fighting for Ukrainian independence, as they claim today, but were members of Ukrainian national death squads who were already killing Ukrainian, Polish, and Russian Jews and Communists when the Nazis invaded Ukraine.  They were responsible for the death of 70,000 to 100,000 Poles in the 1943 Volyn massacre.  And thousands more after that.

By salting these Nazis in communities across Canada, allowing formation of Nazi veterans’ organizations and facilitating their integration into public life, Canadian governments made them virtually immune from prosecution.  Yaroslav Hunka, a member of the Waffen SS and a mass murderer who received a standing ovation in Parliament is an example, and so is Michael Chomiak – a Nazi collaborator whose war crimes his grand-daughter Chrystia Freeland has worked hard to whitewash.  

In fact successive Liberal and Conservative governments dawdled and delayed action to extradite known Nazi collaborators and war criminals to trial in international war crimes courts, a fact that has been critically noted by these courts and by the Jewish community and others in Canada and internationally. 

These war criminals were virtually immune from prosecution for their crimes against humanity from the day they arrived in Canada.  

When the Allied leaders met in Yalta in February 1945, they agreed to prosecute all war criminals and collaborators in all of the occupied sectors. As we now know, the West welcomed Nazis and fascists to their countries, especially scientists and military experts. By comparison, the Soviets put all of the war criminals and collaborators in the sectors they occupied on trial. 

The second reason Liberal and Tory governments  gave war criminals and collaborators a free pass was to use them to attack and weaken the trade union movement in Canada and to drive Communist leaders, members, and militants out of the trade unions.  In this, the Big Business parties had the full support and cooperation of the CCF.  Class peace, an end to workers’ militant strikes and struggles, and a docile labour movement that took orders from the AFL-CIO was the goal.

On arrival in Canada, these fascists were sent to working class cities and towns to work in industrial plants and factories where unions were strong, and where maximum damage could be inflicted.  They were union busters, strike-breakers, spies, agents  and provocateurs who were welcomed and protected by their employers. 

They could live their lives without fear of prosecution in Canada, provided they actively attacked socialism, the Communist Party, the Soviet Union, the trade union movement, and workers’ rights and struggles.  

This is the real story of Canada’s embrace of  2,000 Nazi war criminals and Nazi collaborators . 

It is shocking and it must end now with government action to 

•       tear down the monuments in Edmonton and Oakville and wherever else they have been erected, to the Waffen SS, and Nazi collaborators including Stepan Bandera

•       extradite Yaroslav Hunka to Poland for trial for war crimes

•       extradite all remaining Nazi war criminals and collaborators to the International Criminal Court for trial

•       apologize to the Jewish community and all victims of Nazi and fascist atrocities

•       redress government action, including seizure of property and incarceration in concentration camps of anti-fascist organizations and individuals, with public apologies and compensation

•       enforce anti-hate laws and recognize in law hate groups and fascist groups as criminal organizations

•       end Canada’s participation and call for an immediate ceasefire, withdrawal of all foreign troops, and negotiations leading to a peaceful political solution to the current war in Ukraine

Finally, it’s not believable that Speaker Rota did not know who he was inviting, or that Parliamentarians did not know that they were applauding a member of the Waffen SS and a war criminal.   Fighting against the Russians in 1943 meant fighting with the Nazis.  It’s not complicated.  A quick google search of Yaroslav Hunka reveals everything. The Deputy Prime Minister certainly knew, when she stood and applauded.  And so did President Zelensky who condemned a march in honour of the Waffen SS in Kiev, Ukraine in 2021.   And others knew too, and either supported Hunka and his war crimes, or opted to feign ignorance. This horrendous event clearly exposes the links between anti-communism, fascism, and imperialism. 

Should a government and opposition parties that applaud a Nazi war criminal be trusted with determining Canada’s foreign and defence policy today?  The answer is an unequivocal NO.   Canada is overdue for a Parliament with a democratic and progressive people’s government that clearly opposes reaction and fascism in Canada and globally.

Central Executive Committee

Communist Party of Canada

Yesterday the Cuban Diplomatic Mission in Washington was attacked by terrorists armed with Molotov cocktails.  This is the second attack on the Mission in two years.

The ferocious political and economic attacks on Cuba by the Trump administration and now by the Biden administration have doubled down on the 61 year old economic blockade, with sanctions aimed to cripple the Cuban economy and starve the Cuban people.  These acts are accompanied by the extra-territorial US “laws” that threaten countries that trade with Cuba, and companies that do business with Cuba; all aimed to isolate Cuba and break the will of the Cuban people to defend their sovereignty and independence.   These acts of aggression against Cuba are accompanied by calls for the overthrow of the elected government of Cuba by top US political leaders and both political parties.

Anti-Cuban terrorists have had a free hand to attack Cuba, to blow up a Cuban airliner, launch an invasion of Cuba supported by the US military,  make hundreds of attempts to assassinate Cuban leaders, planted bombs killing thousands of Cubans, used chemical and biological warfare to destroy crops and animals, sickening and killing thousands of people – for six decades. These are facts that are well-founded and well known around the world.

Today, following the US descent into far right politics, including armed militias, assassinations and murders, it is no surprise that these groups feel immune to prosecution for terrorist acts such as fire bombing the Cuban Diplomatic Mission, threatening its staff with injury or death.

The Communist Party of Canada condemns these terrorist acts, which are escalating, and which must be stopped now with the public condemnation and intervention of the Canadian government and Canada’s labour and democratic movements.  Silence is not an option.

Further, Cuba must be removed from the US list of state sponsors of terrorism, and the US economic blockade and sanctions against Cuba must be lifted now.

Central Executive Committee Communist Party of Canada 

I want to know the torah in its original language lately, I love much of the little I know.

Humanity emerging standing strong and free from all the millennia of suffering.

I am currently feeling that if I could become such a thing my first decree would be zero tolerance of war crimes.

So? I am better anyways. I’ll be a general, why not?

Admittedly nerd general with no field experience does seem kinda stupid.

Maybe general’s conscience suits me better?

If there is one to appeal to I hope, you better not all be psychopaths.

But with WMDs in the picture the people need to be able to interface with the ruling class.

I do not claim to know for sure that I am right about this, but it’s something I believe, since I abhor murder to be honest.

And yes I am aware that the ruling class is guilty of social murder in some cases, like profit greed in arms manufacturing.

I’d like to be an expert on Marxism, but can I be an artist photographer as well?

I do love taking photos. But also I love to read/write. Now that I think about it I love doing many things.

I mean as I learned to be credible you have to contribute something of meaning to your field(s). With so little feedback it is difficult to gauge my credibility.

At the very least I am helping people researching schizophrenia. Which I consider a noble cause. But that isn’t exactly what people would call a profession in the capacity that I help.

I wish food sovereignty were already globally universal.

The beginning of life as we know it.

I know I have been promoting the “human era” calendar.

I like the calendar idea better that starts human dating with the beginning of caring for one another as year zero.

I was introduced to this by a Chinese blockbuster film.

Sorry to be flip-floppy on this, but I didn’t know about this and I think it is so amazingly brilliant.

Welcome to the world that Shanidar 1 made possible.

What year is it now? Roughly 40000? OMG that’s funny, I live in the 40th millennium, just like a space marine, curse that universe btw!

I was serious on twitter, I’d really just like to study Marx for a living.

But I don’t live in a world where I can do this yet.

On May 25^th the Rapid Support Forces stormed and occupied the headquarters of the Sudanese Communist Party in Khartoum, Sudan.  This fully armed military group broke down the doors of all offices and halls, carrying out extensive acts of vandalism, damage, and looting.  

The Rapid Support Forces have continued their occupation and destruction since then, using the Communist Party’s offices as their militia headquarters.

We call on the government of Canada to demand an immediate ceasefire, the dissolution of the militias, and an end to the occupation of the Communist Party offices in Khartoum and to the illegal occupation of hospitals, homes, and other public and private places by the militias and all military forces.  Those in the military and militia who have committed crimes against civilians, including members of the democratic movement and all the forces rejecting and opposing the war, including the Resistance Committees, trade unions, and political and patriotic forces, must be brought to justice.  We call on the government of Canada to  join all those around the world who care for peace and democracy who have condemned the violation of international laws and norms and to call for an end to the death and destruction in Sudan.

The Communist Party  of Canada stands in unity and solidarity with the Sudanese Communist Party as it continues to stand in the front lines with the masses of the Sudanese people and their patriotic forces, demanding an end to the war and the prosecution of and holding to account all parties that have contributed to igniting it.

Central Executive Committee

Communist Party of Canada May 28, 2023

We’ll Build a Publicly-Owned Electric Transportation System in Canada Now! 

The Trudeau government moved down a dangerous path with Volkswagen in St. Thomas, Ontario, that’s set the stage for the current crisis with Stellantis in Windsor.  

These are both multinational corporations whose goal is to generate the biggest possible profits, by paying the lowest possible wages and securing the biggest possible concessions from federal, provincial and municipal governments.  Both companies are squeezing Canadian governments to match the high level of government subsidies promised by the Biden administration’s Inflation Reduction Act to keep  construction of their new EV battery plants in Canada.  

Canada acquiesced to Volkswagen and the public is on the hook to pay $13.5 billion in foregone taxes and other benefits for this German company to set up shop in St. Thomas, Ontario; providing 3,000 direct jobs and 30,000 indirect jobs to workers in the area.  Both federal and Ontario governments contributed with tax and other concessions, securing an agreement to build a plant and hire workers in Canada to produce EV batteries that will make this company even richer than it is today.  

Not surprisingly, Stellantis (formerly Chrysler) is demanding equivalent concessions to build its new plant in Windsor, or it too will move its operations across the Detroit River to Michigan or Indiana where Biden’s Inflation Reduction Act provides massive concessions to corporations building and operating in the US.  Stellantis says it will walk away from the deal made with the Canadian government before Biden’s IRA came into effect, and has stopped construction on its Windsor plant.  Almost 2,500  direct jobs and thousands more indirect jobs are in the balance, and in Windsor where auto is the one and only industry in town, the pressure is on for Canadian governments to ante up.  The biggest pressure comes from the City of Windsor and from UNIFOR, the union representing auto workers in the city.

What we’re really seeing is a replay of the 2007-08 crisis, where North American governments and auto companies united against their employees and the public to guarantee a massive public bailout and future corporate profits at public expense.   Chrysler was bankrupted and bailed out with public money, then made billions in profits as Stellantis, and is now laying off 3,500 hourly employed workers in Canada, and thousands more in the US as a result of their shift to produce electric cars. The renewed NAFTA agreement has put the new EV battery jobs and investments up for sale on the North American market, and the highest bidder will get them, never mind Canada’s national interests, or the interests and well-being of thousands of autoworkers in Canada.  

This is a recipe for disaster, for parts and assembly workers, and for the auto industry in Canada.  What we will get is lower wages, poorer conditions, and a price on every job in Canada leading to wage levelling and/or more plant closures.  That’s because North American auto wages are highest in Canada, and that is what the auto industry aims to cut in order to further increase its profits, in the shift to electric vehicles.  

But it doesn’t have to be this way.  And the Canadian government and the auto workers’ unions can and should demand a different road forward today for their long term interests. Instead of making concessions to US and foreign owned auto companies, the Canadian government should build a publicly owned automobile and transportation industry that would build a small, affordable, and environmentally sustainable electric car; and that would also retool existing plants and operations to produce mass rapid public transit, and inter-urban rail and bus transit across Canada.  This would guarantee a future for a publicly owned Canadian transportation industry, and for good permanent unionized jobs, with good wages and working conditions for generations to come.

Canada must also withdraw from the renewed NAFTA agreement which continues to threaten the Canadian economy, Canadian jobs, and Canadian sovereignty and independence.   NAFTA has maintained Canada as a source of raw materials, and a market for value-added products where the value is added offshore by cheap labour in non-union workplaces.  This must stop.  Canada’s trade agreements must be mutually beneficial and multi-national.

The auto industry in Canada has been foreign owned from its inception, starting with the arrival of the US Big Three, and now expanded to include Japanese, Korean, German, and other companies; all of which are foreign owned.   Though the auto industry in Canada is a mainstay of the Canadian economy, it is entirely at the mercy of its foreign owners.  Instead of building a Canadian transportation industry, Canadian governments settled for the Auto Pact and promised jobs.  When the Auto Pact was struck down by the WTO in 2001, the bottom fell out under unionized auto jobs in Canada.  Plants closed, jobs disappeared, and wages fell relative to productivity.  In 2009, Chrysler was bankrupted, then bailed out and reborn as the fabulously profitable Stellantis – now extorting the Canadian public.

Now’s the time for a permanent fix:  a publicly owned and controlled transportation industry that includes an environmentally sustainable and affordable Canadian car, municipal mass rapid transit, and inter-urban mass rapid transit including buses and trains.

Central Executive Committee

Communist Party of Canada

May 28, 2023

I was reading a “dark eye” source-book on a culture inspired by the vikings and it got me thinking, could interlinked communities of about a thousand each (I chose this number because I figure it is about the amount of people you can know well enough to have a functional community, it might be able to go slightly bigger not sure) makeup our global human civilization?

I think even here where I live now I would like to know the humbly sized city community better (was going to join the community association, but then Mimi got sick so I am not yet sure we can stay here).

I don’t want some silly awful work-camp to be my home, this would be such a great change to how we function as a species I think.

I still like the idea of a global disaster relief force though for natural disasters if we can reduce imperialist warfare and therefore not need the kind of firepower our militaries currently have. Maybe have a base in every population centre so that we don’t have to send the young and able off to some far off place unless it’s a major disaster of some sort.

I prefer peaceful solutions.

I call it “Dragon-script” it is purposely left mostly meaningless to represent alienation caused by our current systems of ruler-ship in place.

There is kitty in this particular painting I made though mixed in with the Dragon-script.

Please don’t pervert my life with your strange elite machinations.

I have learned as of late to be happy with what I have and have little desire to become some strange mockery of myself.

I’ll shut up now.

Some of the most addicting art there is currently, but even that dopamine hit exploit won’t work in the long run unless you are disabled in that particular way.

Young people should try and fight this addiction, it can lead to extreme dysfunction and loss of an ability to lead a serious life if not dealt with.

If one is clothed, fed, and is content.

Why have a monetary system?

People like to feel useful, sitting around in a room admiring art all day gets old!

Feeling useful means people WILL work.

And start with me on buying people, that will not work out in the long run. It’s not sincere connection!

TAKE NO PRISONERS, IT WILL ALWAYS TURN OUT BADLY!

(find some sort of humane compromise instead if possible, like educating people if they’ll respond to it)

My fear of fame has increased a lot lately. I see all these public figures being strange and alien to me in horrible ways.

Not enough fear of fame to scrub my online presence at this point though.

I think it’s important to be yourself online and some mockery of oneself

Using sensationalist tacticts in the interest of gaining fame and fortune is a terrible idea if you listen to my advice since you will become difficult at the very least to be able to present as your authentic self later on in the public.

I do have some stress already from being online at the levels I am, which is harmful to my person, though it is a decision I make with as many consequences thought through as I am capable of, including other people hurting me for being me being me.

I do have some private thoughts I don’t share just so you know, I am not 100% transparent at this point, and demanding that is a difficult matter for most people I feel.

War is always a negative thing and to be avoided.

Your malthusian economic models that require blood sacrifices are false idols for progress at this point in history.

Some of it is no longer part of my psychological makeup honestly, and I would denounce some of the entries from years past at this point, some for being in dangerous humor territory and others for being politically naive or what I would now find to be plain wrong.

If it’s important to anyone please ask me about specific entries.

Though overall the body of work still has a lot of the current me in it.

Even if not a single person besides me cares about my development as a person, I feel like it is wise to have such a record in any case, I am finding it fascinating going back through my older entries.

So it’s a useful record to me at the very least.

You figure that inner self stuff out for yourself ultimately, doesn’t mean one can’t learn from others along the way.

I know I have more to learn about Marxist Communism. I wish I weren’t so messed up that it impeded my studies so much, I miss having an iron focus.

I do employ humor sometimes, which in hindsight I regret due to not being able to convey it in mere text form well enough.

Also, some of my entries appear to be very misinformed by the time I write this entry, I blame a news service sector that doesn’t take its duties seriously to maintain a good level of democratic development in every human.

“When I was in the zoo as a child, I remember the words of a teacher who said that people standing in front of a cage with monkeys and laughing at them do this because they identify themselves with macaques. Since then, when I visit the monkey houses, I try to keep as serious as possible.

Nothing is easier than talking for months about Johnson’s insanity, Liz Truss’s stupidity, Biden’s dementia and Zelensky’s hypocrisy. This is food for cartoonists, which is abundant and always surfaces. From this is born all the shapkozakidatelskaya stupidity and deadly narcissism.

In addition to the above-mentioned actors of the world farce, who are completely independent in decisions, an intelligent, convinced, calculating and deeply motivated enemy is fighting against Russia today, who has not lost a second all these tragic months.

Therefore, today it is so important for us not to laugh at other people’s men, but to approach the mirror more boldly and more often.”

It’s weird being amongst the younger peoples of the world, I have been known to say jealousy is a root of hate. Looking at China, Greece or Mesopotamia and more one should learn from them at the very least and not try to get revenge in this day and age. Though since atrocities are still committed in “this day and age” I would say it’s a fluid problem and not a solid state of affairs, it is regrettably complicated at this point in time. I wouldn’t say that all the ancients had learned is still applicable to our basically age of plenty but dismissing it all is also foolish.

Once again, I won’t deny my heritage since it is unwise for a variety of reasons, but to fetishize it on the other hand seems foolish as well.

I shot this idea without a business plan to a bank once, and they said once I have a business plan I should come back to them.

But if humanity survives this current crisis of capitalism intact I think having a basic needs food production on your city block to make sure you are sustained without complex economic systems would be a great idea.

I give this idea to humanity for free, I doubt it was original, but it can’t hurt to suggest it right?

Also those residential units independent of the power grid with solar is a good idea right?

If only there were energy efficient ways of getting at water and soil maintenance resources as well as better power storage tech. We can’t afford to gamble on future tech though I would reason that may never come, best do what we can with what we have at the time. Still kinda hope those three problems will be technologically solved some day. (atomic assemblers are so dangerous since they can be weaponized and all that jazz)

Pretty much everyone I know is a victim of capitalism in some way, I am sick of being one as well.

Don’t go overboard with that narrative if you must be faithful! I employ this mindset myself when in great distress.

That shit is dangerous to do, it affects the entire community when you diagnose someone from a community with this disease. Especially with adult onset, I mean beloved children turned into apparent monsters by psychiatrists depending on the community’s education level is fucking mind numbingly dangerous, I mean, my poor family!

Arrest me when I show signs of corruption.

I hate that “cheating” in a relationship is a human trait. It has just caused me grief.

If the militaries always always rule the world so far then is it not conceivable that our entire narratives are just that? No news is good news for the military, they have fake wealthy people as things to aspire to to exploit workers greed that can be easily controlled by ruthless people who know how to exploit the masses through our primate traits. Honorable mention of my rants on “fake wars”.

Thinking this and knowing that communism aspires to eliminate exploitation of human by human makes me more of a communist than ever.

Military anthropologists ruling the world. They truly are “the other”, it’s like being ruled by aliens. I am for one disgusted if this is true, and it is definitely feasible. A new global feudal age with modern samurai squeezing the people for their goods.

I was born three weeks prematurely on the 31^st of March 11982 in Jasper during a vacation my parents were on. Some of my earliest memories are from when I lived in Moh’kinsstis such as my sister’s birth and first seeing her when I was two. Other infant memories include the Challenger shuttle disaster, watching Jeopardy, making Lego castles with my father, my first girlfriend, early kindergarten and school experiences, watching the original star trek, cuddling with my mother, and quite a lot more, I won’t bore you with the details, but they are interesting to me.

In 11991 my mother took me and my sister to Vienna, which admittedly changed my life dramatically and spent about five years there. The memories from this time are very precious to me, I got to know my people better and saw that “the other” was a false propaganda driven narrative. My grandfather died shortly after our arrival, I did not get to interact with him as much as I would have liked to, but I remember him watching formula 1 on TV for the Sunday races. My Grandmother would become an assistant mother to me and my sister since my mother had to work and was not available to be a dedicated mother. Some notable memories are the many times watching cartoons with my sister after school at Grandmother’s for too many a time, these cartoons included a lot of Japanese content, which at the time I was ignorant of, having been naive to the nationality of content at that age in regards to some of it, I for example knew that Nintendo was Japanese, but did not know that Garfield the cat was US American, and didn’t have the knowledge of all the history associated with these nations. I became a formula 1 fan for a while while in Vienna to honor my grandfather, I would cheer for the French-Canadian Jacques Villeneuve. My only friendship to endure from these times appears to be a friend from 5^th grade at the time of this writing. I was a member of the scouts in Vienna for a short time, but it fizzled quickly. I had a shot at a prestigious boys choir as well, but didn’t want to be separated from my family in Vienna, since the choir doubled as a residential school.

In 11196 I would return to Canada to live with my father, wanting to know him better, he had become a distant figure in my life, I left my grandmother, mother, and sister behind in Vienna, though they would join us here in Moh’kinsstis a few years later. I don’t remember the day I came back in any detail, but I took the basement room at my father’s house and set up shop. I was to do home schooling for high school. I needed a computer. My dad obliged and got one to share at first, but it was eventually assimilated by me. We got a local internet connection and soon after and I disappeared into a world of media. I neglected my studies in high school and never completed the diploma. Due to my political discussions with my father and dissident literature he gave me on US imperialism I decided to study law to eventually become a politician and “change the world” and teach people not to be nasty, in hindsight incredibly naive, but I appear to still be on this path now. My teenage years with my father were a mess, like many people in their teens, no structure, just a big party.

I started working with a company when I was eighteen doing archival work, in hindsight I wish I could have just studied full-time right away. Though while working I started with political science course at the then Mount Royal College which was a university equivalent course. My little half-brother was born during this time. I took on many jobs over the years to earn money, but my passion was actually politics. Shortly after I was twenty I decided to go to Vienna and try and study at university after quitting a deli job.

My plans in Vienna went fairly sideways. Here is an account of my nine months of trying to make it in Vienna. I arrived and moved in with my Grandmother planning to get work and attend classes like I had been doing in Canada. I only found work once, and it was one of those lousy barely paid door to door sales outfits. The emperor and empress of Japan visited when I was there, which ended up being a photo op for me, make of that what you will. I found a young woman who was briefly interested in me before I went mad. The change in thought patterns was very violent, I suddenly felt closely observed in crowds and other such problems I didn’t have before. My grandmother spoiled me while I was there basically, in hindsight I wish I had appreciated her more. Soon after this new madness set in I went home to my parents in Canada.

I was at my mother’s trying to maintain my relationship with said young woman long-distance while losing it. After about two months of paranoia I went to seek medical attention based on advise from my father. When I was at the doctor’s office I explained the strange thoughts I had been having and was soon after strapped into an ambulance and sent for observation at the mental health department at the foothills medical centre. I was very upset there and wanted to leave, but my mother told me I should stay for at least a few days, which felt like betrayal. My memories of being there are not pleasant whatsoever, this was one of the worst times of my life, which would last until about 12013 when I stopped denying anything was wrong with me and skipping medication. About a year after this initial intake into the mental health system I met Amanda, my first major relationship with a woman. It was a high time in what was a terrible time for me (12002-12022), we stayed together for about three years and then she left me quite suddenly for another man. During this awful time when she left me my sister was the strongest person of support.

Between 12002 and 12008 I tried to maintain my lifestyle as it had been up until then, taking university courses and working, after my last job in this period I went to visit my family in Europe in 12008, this trip included visiting my Grandmother which is my most vivid memory of the entire trip. I was still quite messed up during this visit thought wise, and it makes for an interesting if not terrifying recollection.

I technically retired on the AISH program after this trip, since I was deemed unfit for work. But continued my education and eventually gained admittance to the University of Calgary as a full-time student in the bachelor of arts program majoring in political science in 12017, in 12022 I am still attempting to graduate, not sure if I will be able to, might be too poor.

I briefly lived with my sister for two years between 12010 and 12012, which was another scary time for me, having major paranoid symptoms. But it wasn’t entirely a negative time.

After this time I was hospitalized again at the end of 12012 and wound up in Mayland Heights in an apartment by my self for many years where I studied star trek intensely and watched much television, and had meals mostly at a Vietnamese restaurant which I adore for existing and bringing brightness to my gloomy life.

Around 12016 I met Tammy, who I married, she was somewhat kind to me, but her kindness was ultimately not enough to save the relationship when it turned sour and we divorced due to her child being too disruptive to a healthy climate of life. I thought I didn’t want children, but I did ask Tammy once after marrying her if she wanted to try to have one and she plainly said “no”.

Through all this time I continued my study of politics.

After the divorce my finances were somewhat in shambles, though I wasn’t ruined since I was poor anyways. I lived with my father for a while and realized that a woman I knew (Mimi) was interested in me back and we got into a relationship. (OMITTED CONTENT). During her recovery I started keeping a diary and joined the communist party.

Due to the major communist revolutions of the last century, the potential of such revolutions happening has been demonstrated to the ruling class.

PERHAPS therefore there can be meaningful reform as revolution now in parts of the non-revolutionary world, though one mustn’t discount revolution entirely as an option since the ruling elite might not cooperate at all in a meaningful way due to certain circumstances.

If we don’t self-confess and express ourselves I’d make the case that a person that can’t do this is not truly human, also working is a form of self-expression but if not combined with the intellectual-artistic expression of the true self ultimately doomed to silence us if we live in a system such as capitalism.

Hence the term “intellectually and democratically mutilated worker”.

If women are treated as objects and not equals then how can we truly speak of crime in our world when women commit crime?

Only people can be subjected to law I argue, so stop treating women as things! Unless justice is alien to you, in which case you are more psychotic than me.

Speaking of schizophrenia, if I have been experimented on for 20 years can I still be subjected to human law? Don’t worry not considering petty crime or anything, sedition on the other hand.

😭

If you tell me to kill or hurt someone I love for a bazillion pieces of silver (or whatever form of stupendous wealth compensation) I will attack you with intent to kill.

When I see powerful Nazis of any nationality commit atrocities I generally fantasize about them being burned to death wrapped in a Nazi flag…

I mean, I doubt I have it in me to do it, but I can dream.

Something interesting to consider from issue #33

“The question that arises is therefore whether the alliance between the proletariat and the national bourgeoisie is necessary to advance the struggle for socialism or whether, contrary to this, that alliance would slow down this struggle. In Canada, as in Spain and several other European countries, the Communists do not believe that the main contradiction is between the oppressed nations and the dominant nations, but rather between the bourgeoisie and the proletariat. In Canada, we reject nationalist speeches which perceive the main contradiction to be between the Indigenous peoples and the descendants of European settlers, or between Quebec and the rest of Canada. Adopting such a position, in addition to forcing an alliance of the workers with the national bourgeoisie, would imply that an intermediate stage of national liberation would be necessary before embarking on the struggle towards socialism. However, this intermediate step, in our current circumstances, would only strengthen the bourgeoisie of this or that nation and would present the danger of balkanizing Canada into a series of more vulnerable nations, which would therefore be more dependent on the US imperialists.”

Avatar of british empire, toxic masculinity, and excess wealth, sure.

But he sure fights a lot of extremely wealthy villains.

Entire sections of knowledge not available due to being communist? Not even studied or understood at any level? So many frauds in the western establishment that aren’t scientists but paid monsters for the ruling class.

Tell me so-called scientist about how much you hate people for being born poor.

Off to Uncle Vanya with y’all to see what it’s like to live in your system!

You know, if I had the people’s support in Calgary, I’d just declare independance from Canada and hope that the North Americans don’t starve us to death or nuke us or whatever, maybe we should check first if it’s ok to leave as a city state, kinda have a peace accord where they don’t stomp us like the Paris Commune.

Long live the free peoples of The People’s Republic of Calgary!

(This post is primarily intended as a morale boost to comrades, I don’t propose I become supreme leader of this theoretical people’s republic, that would be silly I think)

I know myself as a young man, that definately could have been me. I’d consider it hypocritical if I didn’t give a damn about people getting killed for dumb wars in an age of plenty by a bunch of god damned Nazgûl.

If communism is realized I do look forward to the militaries of Earth being transformed into a disaster relief force instead of whatever monstrousities they are now.

I still think that this practice belongs in the dustbin of history, no one is born illegal!

I think nations are neat, but wouldn’t it be better if your family (an anti-authoritarian one ideally) were the center of your life?

Instead of only royal and bourgois famililies ruling the world, we could have a democratic united earth where all our families engage in politics together. Giving us identity through our own struggle?

Wouldn’t a family centered motivational matrix be a better way to have identity?

Family as my nation, not some state-centered nation. My family has been messed up by war, but I would not be alive without their support. The state belongs in the dustbin of history as well as well as grand nations as our primary identity, it’s unevolved.

I know there are those that do not have family because of war and economic cruelty, but you are welcome in mine if you read this, as small and messed up as ours is due to world wars. Just don’t mob me please, we are kinda small as stated.

Dr. Hawking was right, the human element needs to be maintained in civilizational function. Bots for doing work is fine as long as they don’t kill but in terms of running the civilization, bots and potential A.I. are a trashy way to deal with the running of humanity.

Wouldn’t have made it so far in improving myself without Mimi.

This blog does not consist of decrees, if you want more info on a post please debate me, I am flexible if proven wrong, also some of the stuff from days gone by in terms of my post content is no longer current within my psychological makeup.

Regarding the entire body of my artistic ourburst on the internet.

It was perhaps hotheaded, whether it was a poor decision or not remains to be seen.

I’m sorry, I was VERY lonely.

When I commenced classes after starting my path towards an undergraduate degree in political science at the university of calgary I was informed by an instructor during commencement that poltical science is the study of power relationships. Though useful, I feel that cold fact is the reason people get alienated from science when not a part of its establishment.

Science is supposed to serve humanity. Then I argue that anything worthy of the name of “poltical science” should be the study of how to help humanity through the inclusion of everyone in poltical debate. There are now so many tactics for excluding people from our so called “democracy”, such as voter supression, the corrupt prison system, or even calling people mentally ill. It is obviously communist to have everyone a part of the democratic process instead of relegating power to a bunch of wealthy persons.

For a poltical science that enables all to be a part of humanity in a meaningful way!

I am gonna try and refuse to discuss the news, once you see lies, censorship, and mutiple narratives I feel like I am not qualified to make any real analysis. I don’t know who to trust anymore. Too many power hungry people with an interest in selling arms is all I have been taught.

You filthied the Runes.

I mean we got some super awesome tech when resource wars were real and not artifical, it probably added more to our war obsession at a volatile time in our development.

Not sure this is original, but thought I’d share this thought.

My advice is realize this and overcome warmongering.

Biggest Big Name Influences:

Frida Kahlo:

For teaching me I can contribute despite my illness

Friedensreich Hundertwasser:

For teaching me to fight for peace and express myself radically

Pablo Picasso:

For teaching me to express myself in as many ways as possible

Caspar David Friedrich:

For teaching me to see beauty in nature

Vincent van Gogh:

For teaching me to work hard despite no Earthly reward

Annie Leibovitz:

For teaching me how beautiful photography can be

Steve McCurry:

For teaching me to explore the other

Joel Meyerowitz:

For teaching me to see the beauty in everyday life

Snorri Sturluson:

For teaching me about our heritage and openness of the spiritual mind

Gene Roddenberry:

For teaching me that a better tomorrow will come

William Shakespeare:

For teaching me to radically express love

Brothers Grimm:

For teaching me that escape fiction is potentially dangerous and beautiful

Patrick Stewart:

For teaching me morals through his depiction of Picard

Brent Spiner:

For teaching me to see the beautiful in the other through the depiction of Data

Leonard Nimoy:

For teaching me to embrace more than one world

John de Lancie:

For teaching me to think without constraint

Neil Gaiman:

For teaching me to appreciate my own thoughts despite what doctrine mandates

Douglas Adams:

For teaching me about the absurdity and beauty of comedy

Franz Kafka:

For teaching me to see what it is like to be opressed by the state

Antonio Vivaldi:

For teaching me about thematically paired music and beauty in music

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart:

For teaching me about Genius

Ludwig van Beethoven:

For teaching me about alienation from a corrupt elite and about opportunism

John Winston Ono Lennon:

For teaching me of the poetry in music and to be true to myself despite the danger

Nena:

For teaching me to love myself despite loss

Chipzel:

For teaching me to remember my child self

Martin Luther King Jr.:

For teaching me about the true meaning of justice

Vladimir Lenin:

For teaching me never to think yourself better than others

Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin:

For teaching me to be humble despite great power

Ho Chi Minh:

Teaching me how brutal empires can be and that liberation struggles are justice

Mao Zedong:

For being disciplined when it comes to doing revolutionary work

Friedrich Engels:

For teaching me to rise above petty narratives and embrace materialist analysys of human societies

Karl Marx:

For giving me hope that we can indeed create a better world

I think I hallucinated her after her passing recently, I saw her watching me outside our home, she was made of pure light.

I don’t know what it means, but I hope she watches over us with her kindness.

She is in danger of losing her independence, I wish for her to retain it.

Mimi saved my life.

Edit: (I was in danger of becoming a bitter old man I figure, the kind that make the world worse, her love for me renewed my love for life)

It is starting to feel like they are trying to teach me things I simply can’t learn very well or at all, not due to lack of intelligence, but due to the cruelty of some realities as they stand.

Also not sure what the future holds for Mimi’s care, I was considering shifting gears if she needs me to take more intensive care of her.

Flags are dumb unless they are just a human “plumage” game, I won’t kneel to some dumb flag, our common humanity is far more important.

Divided we fall.

It’s a thing.

Who liked the first one?

I have been working on an RPG world to play with Mimi in. I hope she comes back to us from her stroke event soon and is well enough to play.

Mimi is in the hospital, I hope she’ll be alright.

I wanted to gain admittance to law school to eventually become a politician with some kind of law degree(s).

In hindsight I sound like such a boring kid.

Do you have to bloody weaponize EVERYTHING?!?!?!

After some more relevant education I might incorporate a company, we’ll see, let’s say if I’m feeling it I’ll do it.

The time is not right now I think.

It would be an entertainment company primarily trying to fuse cinema and video-games.

In dominant classical Greek thought the human mind can conquer anything given enough scientific rigor, in Abrahamic thought the human mind can conquer anything meant to be understood but unless one is a prophet one can not understand the divine from what I understand.

I have been arguing that these two ways of knowing may be unknowable by the human mind, at least at this point in human history and perhaps for all of human existence. Faith is therefore to me a somewhat alien decision besides the evidence I have that this universe is so neatly ordered.

Denying the prophetical nature of figures is of course dangerous in many parts of the world, so I won’t blather on.

Credit to my political philosophy class for letting me express myself in this manner.

For putting anyone in my circle in danger.

I don’t know about you but I don’t like being fed lies, people get hooked on so many story narratives that mean or say nothing. I was scrolling social media for a long time and I didn’t learn much from it besides that I don’t like it. But there are also these convoluted story rich narratives to get stuck in, like in my case Star Trek, at least it is more focused now I would argue. It goes back to my writings on maturity. What kind of person do you want to be, do you want to be led around like a fool and lulled to sleep or be on your feet.

The metaverse is an attempt at the full lulling of the worker population it would appear, just an observation. We are run by a bunch of fucking pricks if you ask me. We aren’t even human anymore in the capitalist world, neither highest class nor lowest, deformed humans, I suppose this is what is meant by “communists are conservatives” in the sense that we were probably more in tune with our social nature before everyone wanted to be a god damned entity.

Tristan mentioned to me the energy currency thing to me and that reminded me of the old 4x Alpha Centauri.

An Energy expenditure based currency if implemented to replace the current world currencies (which would be difficult I admit) would show actual carbon footprints so quickly and we could curb reckless carbon creation due to the un-affordability of some types of industry.

It’s a great idea honestly.

Profit worshipping capitalism is a religion, a religion that stinks.

Don’t take my word for it, look it up, but at least communism is trying to be scientific with human welfare in mind.

I don’t care about your war historically unless it was actually just, like defeating genocidal maniacs. Bunch of fucking weapon selling fucks can go to hell.

I mean I care about your war in terms of how much it fucked you over for weapon shilling swine.

Is the second world war a social experiment by the victorious powers of WW1 gone out of control though? I don’t actually know, but yeah, there was evidence cited to me by a prof at the U of C pointing in the direction of allied interference in German affairs before everything went to hell. Look it up, I am curious what other people find. Not that it would excuse the Einsatztruppen being a bunch of monsters in my opinion.

The family saga thing just seems kinda neat, I don’t really believe in authoritarian family structures, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t come from somewhere, and some of that is important to me.

I’ll try not to overshare, so far it is tiny anyways, it is supposed to be very short when it is done also.

But the fact that I was a member of Liberal Party in Canada was because of strategic thinking. I didn’t want to be fringe and be isolated, but that was a lifetime ago at this point.

I wasn’t even a liberal.

Call me names for being dishonest with my political affiliation and hating the conservatives more than the liberals.

If you want my advice, don’t do that strategic shit, just be honest with yourself right away, it would have saved me from looking like an idiot.

Now about NDP being non-revolutionary and therefore not extreme enough and probably doomed to fail with any meaningful societal reforms, talk to me, it’s complicated.

I don’t actually support throwing out people who have lived here for hundreds of years back to Europe (though Shadowrun scenarios do amuse me). I just want to point out with this form of land acknowledgement that treaties were violently broken and there is justified rage in this entire state of affairs. Talk to me about it, I am not confident about it, also I am basically an American newcomer, so sorry if I don’t understand all this as well as I should.

You can debate whether I am wise or not, but when it comes to protecting my mortal coil I might be a lunatic. (sincerely sorry if that word triggers you, since I agree that we should have more sensitive language, but I feel I can use it to make this point)

I feel like they are designed to kill people sometimes by bogging them down with negative bullshit, putting up with it because you think you belong to the fake “metaverse”.

If my suspicions are correct, I might be pushing some people further than should be done.

I apologize in advance.

I really miss the happy warm feelings of optimism for the future when the ISS started, this new cold war posturing between NATO and China is so disgusting.

ISS2 FOR THE WIN!

But I have learned from this that life on this planet can be great, and think this is the kind of world it should be for all.

I tweeted something to the effect of “Christ died so you can be a monster and feel good about it because Christ died for your sins?”

That’s messed up.

But it would be pretty cool if it ends up birthing Starfleet in some form.

I have evidence it already has.

#wearestarfleet

My reception in humanity makes me think I am related to Hitler or something similar.

When I saw Emperor Emeritus Akihito maybe I saw that he was a tortured man, in the sense of the weight of the world still perhaps being unkind? Maybe due to my intelligence I saw this, but its just a theory, and became sick from seeing someone under that much duress. I don’t actually know, it is within the realm of reason anyways.

I am always waiting for the the next threat to present itself, always anticipating the next move. Maybe that is what it is like to be powerful or prominent or whatever. It’s weird because to my knowledge when I am not controlled by my paranoid thoughts I am just a (mostly) everyday human, especially up until my first breakdown. I mean I was always overly intelligent and more nerdy than some, but that describes a large swath of humanity.

Its probably another reason communism without leader worship is a good thing in my mind, nobody should have to have that much pressure on them.

I think I will never force myself to do creative output again (I don’t do it much anyways), I will attempt to only do creative making when I am inspired to do so.

The reason I am writing this is I was considering incorporating a film studio, honestly, I don’t want to run a company now that I consider it some more, I just want to sit in my corner of the internet for now and do what I have been doing so far. I am honestly pretty happy where I am right now, ambition has been perverting me, which is unacceptable.

The day it is revealed it is all a show, that nations are lies, and the people in your life are the ones that are important.

When we mature.

I feel like I do actually have cashflow, but because I am insane it is being spent for me, since insane people shouldn’t be allowed to invest or something.

I just hope my money is spent on gay communist Star Trek.

Yes I pretend to be a Star Trek producer.

I know I said in the past that I thought “Stalin was the worst thing to happen to communism”, but now I see I have been blinded by capitalist lies. Under him the fascists were defeated. And so much of this Stalin bashing is just capitalists pointing yonder.

Hate leads to hate leads to hate, break the cycle!

I stole a Gameboy when I was a little kid.

I feel somewhat silly opposing Marxist philosophy in the past at this point. I still think of religious narratives and their ilk as fascinating, but this “God Building” is a fallacy in my mind, I think dealing with our material world to be of the essence of human existence, and that a philosophy that is primarily concerned with such a thing to be more useful when dealing with the body politic of the globe.

I am not kidding, I think the old gods are fascinating for example, but not essential (I did fine without them as a child). The class struggle is at hand and we have nothing to lose but our chains.

Freedom under capitalisms is impossible. Where the wealthy decide what is done. How we live and what we strive for. How we work and what we work for. The ballot box is a infantile delusion of any power. Why would you defend being stepped on?

For a revolution empowering everyone over their lives.

Having said that, I want a as peaceful a transition as possible, but looking at police tactics get crueler and more violent against the protesters I wonder if it also childish to think this is possible.

So if I understand correctly, the billionaire class can just invest in a company with billions of US dollars or what have you into a stock on the stock market and be a productive member of society knowing that in a ideal capitalist scenario this money will be invested in jobs, equipment, research, etc.?

So they can basically do a few clicks on a computer and control large swaths of humanity?

This is broken obviously, also in a 40 hour work week, how are people supposed to self actualize like our billionaire overlords? The billionaires who can be awesomely useful in decision-making with a few minutes of work?

Also what good is the stock market to the average person? It’s like bringing a squirty gun to a nuke fight..

Once again I hope people discuss this with me, but it’s awfully quiet here in my corner of cyberspace.

I have been exploited in the workplace my entire work-life, fuck capitalism! I have never made more than current minimum wage. I have never been above the poverty line and I am a hard worker. Thx for making me life dependent on the charity of others, big thanks to people who make sure I get more food than I can afford on my income!

Once again, fuck the capitalist ruling class!

I’d probably be dead if I weren’t a cockroach! My current psychiatrist has the bedside manner of of a person who wants his patients to die of depression. (though I have been retraining him to be nicer)

I think that it’s worth fighting for to make it as fair as possible though.

(In regard to the almost total liberties granted to the capital world’s university system students)

“I imagine, “said Seldon, “that it helps relieve pressure as well. They work off all the smug self-satisfaction a young revolutionary would have, and by the time they take their place in the imperial hierarchy, they are ready to settle down into conformity and obedience.”

Thoughts anyone?

Capability variety is good, especially when it comes to overdependence on IT tech. Make sure the force works without it too.

If you want to exterminate/sterilize me.

The media obfuscation matrix, since I could design one, it is doable.

It *might* just require a lot of work.

But ultimately totally doable.

You could even target one person or a handful of people if you have enough control to prevent random encounters with people outside the conspiracy.

Why?

I dunno, like VIP protection kinda thing. Blind the pharaoh’s eyes. I am not sure. Just a malicious social science experiment?

Practical uses for people who are nice, would be to blind sensitive people to the world at large who might have severe reactions including suicide.

Humans better not be a bunch of massive sadists. I am worried my end will be terrible and at the hand of a sadistic species, I have temporarily lost my good-natured faith in people.

I am frightened enough to kill myself. Though I have decided against it for now.

It’s not like I don’t have enough evidence to back this up.

Any thoughts?

I know I wrote I don’t believe this to be the case, but I am finding it more and more difficult to support the police in any way, even if small.

The protesters in the United States in the wake of George Floyd’s death at the hands of Derek Chauvin have left me siding with the people rising up.

If you are a good cop, turn in your badge, because your president is a proto-fascist!

Don’t be an instrument of evil.

I call on soldiers of the U.S. to disobey orders if you know they are Unamerican! Such as shooting at protesters!

The same goes for Canadian personnel trained in such manners!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megalopolis

Has been lifting my spirits to new heights. 🙂 🙂 🙂

I feel like it is too dangerous to give me any kind of real stage so that I can be a part of mass media collage.

What if I have a breakdown? Also I am pretty much a real life madman.

It’s a stupid situation since I do want to be successful, admittedly everything I create might just be unappealing as well. In any case I poured my heart into my writing and photography and I haven’t really gotten any response from outside my circles.

It’s suspicious.

It’s becoming difficult to create anything, since it seems to be a dead end as a financial aspiration. If I were to just do therapeutic art I’d probably just sketch at this point, in fact, I think I’ll do that after I publish this.

I don’t want to live just to fight to see the next day anymore, when I am so tired.

I’ll hang on for those that love me though. I admit that is hardly a healthy mental state, I’ll continue drugging myself with caffeine, that does lift my spirits.

I’m allowed to be sad.

In this world everything is a battle of sorts, let us all feast with the gods.

Everything humans do for work is art! Ok, maybe the trashcan is just a trashcan.

#WonderWoman1984

Do what works! Don’t pose ideologically! Lean to the left, lean towards compassion within the realm of reason!

I feel like Calgary is actually a “humane” extermination facility made by the Nazi administration, humane because we still have some minor property but ultimately are doomed to being weeded out from the gene-pool, also humane because the fake media we are being fed makes us think people can be good and the Nazis lost (I often think this). I cite the mass genocides as evidence that homo-sapiens are in fact an evil species capable of such things, also the Calgary Tower is a smokestack (in the style of the extermination camps) with a pretty thingy on top of it, it is the representation of victory over the so called “untermenschen”.

Having said something like this, I’d like to reaffirm it is just a “crazy” thought and I am not confident about it. People are fairly nice to me, but under Marxist analysis I am nothing but a slave with fancy pieces of paper and now numbers in a computer, since the “masters” have the ability to print money and I don’t, or barely any democratic mechanism in how I have access to the way the world works. I am below the poverty line for fuck sakes, why would I want to have children if they are just going to wind up poor like me?!?!? Hence, humane extermination facility.

Read it, it is disturbing.

https://catalyst-journal.com/vol3/no3/the-economic-origins-of-mass-incarceration

I am just going to print out a copy for myself for now as a fancy photo portfolio business card, due to the nature of my journal. If you want a copy please feel free to contact me.

That is all.

Not sure that is a good thing. But when I hear “go to hell” I tend to fantasize about going to war against the forces of Satan. It’s kinda a smart-ass response. But honestly, who doesn’t want to wage war against the forces of evil? I mean, they be laying the hate on my cute humans, so I gotta go to hell to kill em all. (Honestly, I doubt I’d wind up there, I am super nice).

#inspiredbyvideogames

l also like that being a soldier or warrior is not shamed but glorified. Personally I don’t want to be shamed for fighting to protect who I love. It may be over-glorified to be fair, but if you are wise you can find a balance I am sure.

Being politically pragmatic and anti dogmatic (with a seriously left outlook) I liked the anti power monopoly of the ancient Icelanders. Great Empires fall harder you know? I mean I have written about this before, I think the benefits outweigh the downsides of not being in a “great” or big empire. This is somewhat Marxist since it is about potentially creating strong local communities.

Having said that, my mind seems to prefer Pantheons to Monotheistic Gods. I feel like in a religion like Asatru, there is more to relate to, and I find that important. Also it is less totalitarian a regime by far than in a Abrahamic setting. The Gods are flawed in Asatru and therefore have more to teach about living in the real world as opposed to being obsessed with the afterlife. I still prefer Christian morals ideally though. It has become an internal struggle. I also like that you can be related to gods, it’s pretty neat. I feel like there is also more dialogue and openness to normal people being able to be alongside the gods, such as with the Einherjar who can fight during Ragnarok alongside the Gods. I childishly like to pretend that I could be a god in this Pantheon, which in Abrahamic faiths is blasphemy, and I am saddened and worried that being myself would be considered a crime.

I unironically prayed many a night for my loved ones before I was about nine years old, that’s when I learned about the Spanish inquisition. I honestly miss the sincere praying, my prayers are no longer known to be heard like back then.

The Spanish inquisition taught me that there are those in Catholicism and Christianity that just use religion to exploit, they have nothing to do with the faith. And so I lost my faith.

Not long after I was introduced to the concept of explaining all of creation with science, which had an appeal. But I eventually realized that humans are probably (in our current form at least) neither capable or intelligent enough to truly KNOW such a thing. So hence agnosticism has been my spiritual outlook for most of my adult life. And honestly, for now at least, I think being able to believe that there is more to reality, and that the magic of creation is indeed magical, than no meaning whatsoever is an extremely important thing for human psychology. We need meaning.

This device could be a great equalizer for the intelligence of individuals, we could all be genius level people. The robots could do the work that geniuses don’t want to do.

#FALC

I feel like a neural implant monitoring brain function is closer than the neurallink that Musk’s team is working on. I am sure the idea isn’t new, but that would be possibly useful for people like me, you could possibly have an alert system for cognitive disruption during a breakdown. I could be a more socially integratable person then.

#positiveaboutthefuture

I have decided to concentrate on my photography from now on in terms of what I do creatively, in my photo journal my latest entry will be the last for the year. I will still be blogging as well. I am planning to publish the first two decades of my journal as a photobook in January 2020.

Edit: Bah! I started more fiction on wattpad, why not? I feel like it right now.

Second, it offers a political program meant to directly appeal to the material interest of the working class. It is relatively straightforward to insert ecologically beneficial policies within the already existing movements around the decommodification of basic needs like “Medicare for All” or “Housing for All.” The climate crisis in particular is centered upon sectors absolutely vital to working-class life — food, energy, transport. The goal should be to use this scientifically declared emergency to build a movement to take these critical sectors under public ownership to at once decarbonize and decommodify them. 

Some radical solutions to the climate crisis.

Link to the full article

You know with a medical team monitoring my mental stability every day I could function in politics I feel since I am usually stable.

Can I really do social engineering like this and live a normal life? This is concerning. I am concerned, the fact that my Instagram and Twitter have about 100 followers each is kinda weird and concerning, something bad is coming. I mean positive thinking and all, maybe it won’t be ALL bad. But something is definitely coming my way, for what it’s worth and in my defense I am on psychoactive pharmaceuticals and am legally insane, I don’t mind living in the mental ward anymore, though the last place had a lot of random screaming.

Edit: I am kind of terrified, anyways, gotta go to work in an hour.

Damn assassins, you won’t get me! (Does this mean I am like Stalin? I mean without the power but with the paranoia, also no genocidal intentions and such). In any case don’t vote for me, I am unstable. A new kind of human you say? Sure I’ll go with that, positive thinking, Alexander Frederick Roth, the new breed! 😜 What do you mean I am ripping off dialogue from “The Big Bang Theory”? I suppose I am.

I like to say that violent revolution has nasty effects and fails, but we don’t see all of future’s history. Maybe those deaths weren’t in vain. I know it is a horrendous thing to say, but the truth is we don’t know if they were steps towards something better.

I would still prefer zero casualties if possible, but that is admittedly an ideal.

Maybe the revolution is still happening and is just not apparent or as apparent as something like say “Red October”.

I am thinking the NATO is trying to kill me or corrupt me or whatever, but basically they hate me. I can’t sleep. This better not be another breakdown, I can’t take much more of this shit. The breakdowns of course being part of the psychological torture by intel.

It sound silly as I write it down, but not as silly as it should, this world be fucked up.

I wish I were a sexless being… Some of the stuff I have seen on the internet makes me wanna commit  suicide, no joke. Maybe there is a procedure to turn me sexless…

Honestly, I think that a post-capitalist socialist society would be slower to innovate and produce fancy goods for the average person. But people would be better off. The happiness gained from luxury goods is less important than your basic human needs, and we have those figured out at this point. I wonder how scientific advance would fare though? My example that it wouldn’t be such a big deal would be that the Soviets were the first to put a human into space, but they were still a social market economy, admittedly more social than market than the social democracies of Western Europe. I think we should be willing to try for a better world where we can eliminate poverty, if it doesn’t work we can go back to capitalism. And don’t give me that simplistic, it failed because of the NATO victory over the Warsaw Pact, bullshit. That problem with them dissolving and basically surrendering doesn’t mean that socialism can’t work, like so many of my comrades say, look to the social market economies of Europe, they worked fine until the neo-liberal order took over the policies of the social democratic parties. Are we the Pharaoh’s slaves that we have to run like an ant-hill working at all times at peak efficiency? (I am looking at you Economist who thinks we need to be at max growth and employment levels at all time) WTF?!? We are humans, we should enjoy our lives outside of work and self-actualize.

I need to see how much of life is market and how much is social in China because I realized I don’t know that.

Also, I still want the Internet Archive to host all of human media for free. We should have that, it wouldn’t be so hard to do and I think everybody would love that.

It’s like I live in a world ruled under an ideology based on starship troopers. Once again, WTF?!?

Classless doesn’t mean everybody is the same too. That’s ruductio ad absurdum you know?

I tweeted a while ago, to the effect of, that my schizophrenia might have been induced by the CIA or whatnot to discredit me before I even begin, is it really that far-fetched? A young socialist suddenly in Vienna looking into getting into politics, bi-lingual with a Canadian passport, I’d definitely show up on their radar. Also, I don’t want to be dismissed as just some crazy person and this theory helps me think I can contribute positively to the cause. Can you do such a thing CIA? Please release classified files and disabling potential threats abroad. It would really help me and my comrades if you did that and admitted you did this to me.

It might also be because of your paranoia of Austrians and Germans due to the Nazis.

I mean there is no history of mental illness in my family that I am aware of.

I admit I might be wrong about this whole things though, I wonder what Chomsky would say.

I want to live on street where all my friends and family live. DAMMIT! I know a tiny amount of people on our street, otherwise our street is full of strangers. This is so dumb. EVERYBODY come move onto our street, I need you. I hate this god damned stinking situation.

Still living the married life, that’s been good. Since I started this blog I was hospitalized thrice though, this summer I was in the hospital twice, all for psychiatric reasons. I ended up changing meds to abilify this summer, which I prefer, one of the major side effects is gone and I am sleeping like a normal person again. I am still enrolled at the U of C as a political science major but my studies are on hold due to the inability to get student loans right now (I won’t bother you with the details). I am currently looking for a dayjob and did some seasonal work for Christmas at the Austrian-Canadian cultural center. Honestly, I am quite sick of the hospital. I have now been to the mental ward for an extended amount of time seven separate times, I always just want to go home. I am currently extremely stable by my own judgement, but who knows? I should just move into that luxury mental ward/palace I was proposing, it would save a lot of stress. 😛 I hope I can figure out funding for university, if I can get a day job for a while it should be doable, the seasonal work I was able to do, so as long as someone hires me I should be able to do some minimum wage work, the income would be extremely welcome.

I have been publishing more of my early work, including a photo of Empress Michiko, the photo is nothing spectacular, though it was a great day for me.

The photo journal currently has 287 photos, I like my photo journal, it’s a lot of fun for me.

I am afraid to be overly spiritual. Worry I might fall into a bad group. Also there is my teenage atheist self that is critical like a soviet of the whole idea, but I am starting to see that many things spiritual people do are wise, also it is good for ones mind to have gods to turn to when in extreme distress as I have found out when I am in my worst moods, I usually retreat to a spiritual narrative. This blog is definitely losing coherence, hehe, I’ll try and not rewrite it again and delete it.

I would like to thank Tammy for giving me ideas to work into my photography project. She’s the reason I started writing about my photographs and I really think it makes my photo journal better.

I do pray. I don’t want to write about it. You might get the wrong idea.

It’s kinda my sell-out novel franchise, but it still has more of my paranoia fictionalized.

I do think about what will be left of me after I die, and thinking I will be remembered does feel good. Maybe my work will be appreciated after I die.

It is definitely a part of my identity, I was baptized catholic after all, I like some of the rituals and art it has created. I like some aspects of the moral codex. I no longer consider myself a member of the church. But I would call my self my own kind of catholic now, I feel like it is my primary religious trait, since it was a part of my upbringing, I was rejecting it for a while because I was angry at it’s flaws, so I started studying what is left and what was reconstructed of the Germanic religion, but honestly, it is too harsh a religion for me, nonetheless fascinating. And I think Catholicism is capable of helping teach people to be good. I described myself as a agnostic patchy catholic on twitter earlier today and said I’d write more on my blog. Of the three I am primarily agnostic.

Though I must say again, that Odin giving his eye for knowledge was better than the guilt trip of the apple.

I didn’t always like watching sports, when I was young I in fact hated all sports for a long time and scoffed. But then once when I was a teen I went to a bar in Frankfurt during World Cup, I didn’t even know a Germany match was on, but the atmosphere and partying were intoxicating. That’s what changed my mind, the community get-together. I wouldn’t say I’m hooked, but I do enjoy cheering for Germany now every World Cup.

When it comes to eports it hasn’t become a real life community event yet, I am waiting for bars full of people watching Smash Bros or Mario Kart, being a former heavy weight player in those games I would love to cheer for e-athletes in a pub.

Speaking of unconventional war, it seems there is an economic war being waged on the average US citizen, who has to see his country torn up by economic interests that create a standard of living that is lower than before, with manufacturing jobs gutted and moved offshore by companies that are “American” waging this war against their own brothers and sisters. The poor in America becoming poorer.

What’s the point of all this ridiculously high military spending if you have a military leadership that doesn’t see other forms of war being waged on its citizens?

I am thinking that the Nazi Scientist elite is slowly revealing itself to me awaiting my responses. Judging me, for whatever reason. And that they will be able to turn me like Anakin with the promise of something I can’t resist, or maybe manipulate my feelings to the same end.

Maybe they will free me from this slave-like existence. Change me.

Maybe it’s best if I die young, I don’t want to be turned into them. I just want to live in my normal five star hotel, with my normal room service, and my normal bulletproof motorcade.

This all makes me think that you shouldn’t trust me.

This doesn’t feel so good.

Hopefully it’s all just nonsense, and I can go back to being me, I like nerdy things, and I like women and children and kitties.

Let me just veg out to breath of wild please brain, that seems to keep me happy. Surrounded by my loved ones.

I am off to try and blurt out my thoughts with loud music.

So far brief, I have my vlog up on YouTube, I wasn’t too happy with it, but it has authenticity I feel, which is why I left it uploaded.

I kinda pretentiously prefer photography to film and tv as one of my primary art forms because it’s more common and therefore represents humanity better right now and is less of an elite art. Mind you, YouTube is trying hard to make video more common, which is cool project.

I would not at this point in time consider film-making one of my primary art forms, I dabble for now. Due to the elite nature of film I don’t want to be known as a “director” or “filmmaker” for now. Who knows? Maybe I’ll change my mind and try it some more in future, but for now I am not feeling it.

Having said all that, I love me some good video, planning to see the new Pacific Rim on Friday.

Edit: The vlog is no longer on YouTube. I feel kinda meh about it these days.

My pantheon is full of fictional entities, like Picard. It’s equivalent to having a god picked out to worship in the antique world I think. Blast this primitive mind! But Picard is pretty dope.

Word to my Deadpool worshipping nerds!

That’s probably bad, I want to rule the world, honestly I would do good things. Hinotu from X 1999 is super cool, she advises the government with her visions trying to save the earth. I want to be like her, a super powerful person who helps the government from behind the scenes. Yeah, maybe that is better, why assassinate me if I am unknown to the public? It’s still power, it’s just unadmired by the masses, and considering the masses voted for Hitler and Trump who wants their admiration anyways? Maybe a wise a kind elite is best after all, I still believe in democratic ideals, I just think that this is a complicated subject that is more than just voting for some politicians and mass voting, especially considering the original democracy was in a society that still had slavery. So what are democratic ideals to me? That everyone matters is probably the most important thing to me, and that everyone should have the right to be happy if possible as long as that doesn’t entail harming others second (if you harm others your rights can be suspended, duh, see jail). The fact that Hitler was elected makes me think that voting for people isn’t the key ingredient to a healthy democracy, but making sure everyone has a voice, that shouldn’t just be an x on a ballot, especially if there are bad people on the ballot. Now with the internet there is a much more efficient way to make sure everyone can be heard, maybe make social media the key ingredient to a healthy democracy. We would still need social workers for those too weak to have a voice in this brave new world.

Edit: And honestly, I consider these “criminals” the weak, they are too weak to live in society as most do. I know dealing with violent people is difficult and dangerous, but at least accept that everyone has a story.

I think that other cultures besides the dominant ones, especially the U.S.A and the U.K., should be able to compete. Maybe Hollywood can do work for other countries? The shock and awe cinema seems to be only for the big nations, we need shock and awe for all cultures.

I want to see the cinema from all over the world that can make everyone experience awe.

You know, socialist debate can often be so stale, it’s Marx this and Marx that. There needs to be new contemporary giants of socialism that advance the debate in public discourse. Considering technological advance it is necessary. Not to mention future technological advance. What is this, Sunday school for communists and socialists? Knowing the irony of the statement, I think Marx would disapprove. Red fanatics kinda rub me the wrong way too, fanaticism is generally awful.

I have been thinking a lot about my dual nature, or to put it more rudely, my hypocrisy.

I want to be beyond such things as nations, but I like supporting my indigenous nations. I believe in animal rights, but I eat meat. I want peace, but I find militaries and weapons cool. I support feminism, but I like to consume sexy media.

It’s a weakness of character I feel, I want to be more like what I preach.

At least I don’t hold public office of any kind and am not famous, I am the one who cares about it the most at this point.

My mind is a battleground, and not just because of the schizophrenia.

I think the easiest thing to change would be to start eating cultured meat instead of traditional if and when it becomes available to the masses.

It’s like having a shadow me and ideal me living under the same skin.

It is the year 12018 HE (Human Era), you know, this should be adopted as the common year numbering system globally, it’s so much more elegant and not everybody in the world is Christian.

Also Swatch Internet Time needs to happen, a global decimal time system with no time zones and no daylight saving time? Sign me up!

Elect me your planetary governor and I will make this happen, mostly for me, because I think these ideas are awesome. If enough people try to make me planetary governor I will expand the campaign to include eliminating poverty and other great things like that.

And for crying out loud, use the metric system people! Why? It’s 12018!

I dreamed that one of my paranoias was true, but it was overblown and extravagant. The United States was actually all Mad Max on the east coast, but nobody outside knew due to the massive media cover-up. As far as everybody was concerned everything was fine, until I took a train trip to New York. There was human sacrifice and all sort of bloody ritual. It was a scary train trip as we descended into the fray. Once in New York everything became an alien thing, I was transported onto a space ship that took me into space and the alien rulers of earth revealed themselves to me, they had immortalized their elite which had become some sort of engineered super organisms, I was of course invited to join them.

I am meditating, listening to calmradio’s native channel in the dark. I am wanting to just let go of my ambitions and materialist pursuits and just meditate a lot (sleeping lots won’t be a problem). It isn’t the first time I have been wanting to change key aspects of my life. Knowing previous patterns I will be my average self again tomorrow.

It’s a positive experience though, I like how I am letting go of my struggles in my mind, wanting just to be, instead of constantly striving.

I am also writing this so that I won’t forget.

I considered myself a gaijin otaku for a while when I was a teen/young adult, but lately I haven’t been doing much to maintain this. I haven’t really liked most of the anime that is coming out sticking to the shows and movies I grew up with. A friend of mine commented that it’s because I am getting old, but unlike anime, I like listening to new music, I got into dubstep for a while, so I beg to differ. I admit shows like “Love Hina” have lost their appeal as an old grumpy white man, but shows like Bebop and Champloo I still enjoy watching. I often wish there were more anime that appealed to people who like anime like this, at least American TV is making lots of good stuff for geeks/nerds that I still enjoy. I totally understand Miyazaki saying the anime industry sucks. I still play Mario Bros a lot, but that hardly makes me an Otaku right? 😀

I mean, the magazine does babble a bit, but that’s ok, who doesn’t enjoy escape literature? But something that stuck in my head was something that was written about the Bernie Sanders campaign, that he changed the debate in politics, and that is still a major contribution even though he didn’t end up getting the ticket and we wound up with a proto-fascist president of the United States.

I just hope it’s enough to prevent a humanitarian disaster, the so-called alt-right has me frightened. As I’ve written before, the thing in Germany, the Hitler thing, happened so ridiculously quickly.

I dunno, I consider myself a communist of sorts, I believe in a post-capitalist society, but maybe I should just label myself as a progressive. I don’t need all the negativity that is associated with the term communism. What do you think?

My biggest inspiration to become an artist and activist has been my father. I always loved his work as a musician and we would talk about politics when I was a teen, we still continue to talk about politics to this day. Photography was always present when I was growing up, one of my grandfathers and two of my uncles had fancy semi-pro cameras and would document family life. I got my first camera from my uncle Helmut and auntie Ilse when I was a teenager and I had great fun with it, it was still the film era so I had to be more picky about what I would photograph not being able to buy and develop film at will. I got my first digital from my stepdad, it was one of those floppy-disk based sonys, that’s when I started shooting a lot, something I really love about digital. When I was a young adult I raided as many photo albums as I could from my family and scanned everything, it was so rewarding to have pictures from the past available on my computer, I wanted to provide some of that to myself and others. A pivotal moment in my hobby photography phase (professionally I wanted to be a lawyer/politician before I got diagnosed with schizophrenia) was when I got a chance to take a picture of the Emperor of Japan when he was visiting Vienna, he posed for the camera armed crowd and I got a shot that I am happy I got the chance to take, but it was a point and click digital with no zoom so later on I would bemoan that I couldn’t get a close up with a better camera, but oh well, still quite the privilege. When Flickr became available I started to want to go pro and started posting my shots I had been collecting privately until then. I really enjoyed photoshop, it was a good way at first to compensate for shots that were early and less refined and make them more interesting, I personally don’t think high photomanipulation makes a photograph less of a photograph, just likes special effects don’t make a movie less of a movie. And my picture of Akihito I have posted is severely photoshopped. My friend Christopher Munroe inspired me to pursue writing more seriously when I started reading his flash fiction he posted on his blog, I couldn’t get enough, it was so easy to read and was often very amusing. I had been blogging thought-streams off and on until then. I have never really taken much inspiration from the greats until I started recently taking online photography courses, and one of the instructors (Joel Sartore), a national geographic photographer, started talking about iconic and interesting shots, I obviously already had a concept of this since my most prized shot was of Emperor Akihito, but he really reinforced that professional concept of showing the people what they want, and now I am even more on the lookout for opportunities to take shots like that to buff my portfolio. I do have muses, and they have been the women I have been in relationships with, when I am in a relationship with a woman I am more creatively active and inspired to seek recognition. My mother and sister inspire me to take good care of myself and not be hard on myself.

I ended up publishing my book on wattpad for exposure. Maybe something will come of it. Here’s the link.

This is not a Masterpiece

My wife Tammy is an educational assistant in Calgary and was born in Calgary as well. She is a full-time student too, she wants to get a job as a teacher after she finishes her education perhaps. She also tutors and works at a Leisure centre with children on the weekends during schooltime. Overall I think she works too hard, but she has to, or there wouldn’t be enough money for the three of us.

My stepson Asher is in jr. high school and loves gaming, he also loves Star Wars and the youtubeverse. He was born in Calgary.

My mother Susanne is also an educational assistant in Calgary and was born in Vienna and grew up there and came to Canada when she was eighteen, I spent some time growing up with her as a single mom in Vienna after she separated again from my Dad, she sings in a local Austrian choir.

My father Karl is a professional musician, he plays Jazz, does vocals and violin. He was born in Calgary and has spent most of his life here, he has been hanging out in British Colombia for the last couple of years though. He was adopted, and all I know about his blood parents is that they were German.

My stepfather Andreas is currently manager at the Austrian-Canadian Cultural Centre in Calgary and was born in Vienna. He did his service in the Austrian military as an MP as a young man, as they still have conscription in place there.

My little sister Nicole is currently a personal trainer, but she does illustrations, sketches, and paints. She was born in Calgary and grew up in Vienna as well as in Calgary and it’s area. She holds dual citizenship for Austria and Canada unlike me, I only have Canadian citizenship.

My little half-brother Andrew from my mother’s second marriage is in high-school right now and was born in Calgary.

All four of my grandparents have passed away, I was closest with my grandmother on my mother’s side, I lived with her for nine months in 2002 before experiencing my first psychotic symptoms, after the first psychotic break in Vienna whilst living with her I came back to Canada and sought medical attention. I had planned to settle down in Vienna and had the appropriate visa and so on, but I suppose it wasn’t meant to be.

My family tree on my mother’s side all winds up in Germany by the 19th century and my uncles have been mapping the tree on myhertiage.com. Obviously, since my father is adopted I don’t know anything about that side, but my grandparents on his side, the ones who adopted him, were European immigrants to Canada, grandma from Russia and grandpa from the Ukraine.

There is more to tell, but I think that’s it for now.

I’ve been feeling useless, I still sleep too much and don’t help Tammy enough, I’ve been trying to change that, but I just feel like one more person she has to care for.

I wonder if she will leave me because I am just another lump of flesh lazy good for nothing man. I wish I were more energetic, caffeine doesn’t really seem to give me any more energy. I hope I can maybe make some money with my book, that way I can contribute financially at least since things are usually financially tight around here, but that seems unlikely, I will remain a nobody artist. I do feel like I should try and get a job, but my wife doesn’t think it’s necessary. I feel it might help with my self-worth too, even though in the past I didn’t really like the kinda minimum wage jobs I could get, though that might be different now since I won’t just be paying my way for myself. I have been feeling suicidal some nights, I haven’t told anyone yet, I confess it to you my blog for the first time.

I wish I didn’t hate cleaning so much, I could clean up the place a bit. In fact, I am gonna go and empty the bathroom trash now.

I have so far submitted my manuscript to eight publishers and have heard back from one (it was a rejection). I am hoping someone picks it up, if I can’t find a publisher I will self-publish eventually, but some of these publishers take months to respond, so, for now, it’s the waiting game.

I was told that I shouldn’t label myself as “schizophrenic” by a friend because all my bios online include that. The reason I do it though is that I feel I can help reduce stigma and give a face to something that still has a mystique (often a negative one) in pop-culture.

Though as I have mentioned there is also the fact that I can gain from this mystique. Gotta look out for myself you know?

I got accepted as an undergrad at the U of C majoring in Political Science, I hope I can get a degree out of it, maybe even a PhD. I am excited for September, I hope it won’t be a fruitless endeavour, though learning new things in itself is valuable so it won’t be wasted time even if I am not mentally competent enough to earn a degree or more.

It is a bit discouraging to be thirty-five going into studies for a bachelor, I wanted to have my bachelor in political science by my early or mid-twenties originally, but my disability and finances interfered. Still, it’s nice to at least have hope that I can still have professional success in academia since politics means so much to me and I want to help make the world a better place for everyone to live in.

It was a nice ceremony, with a few friends and family. I got married on the 23rd of July 2017. So far it’s been good, I hope it will be an enduring relationship, I feel like I can help in raise Asher and provide support to Tammy, eventhough I have a disability and am poor by Canadian standards.

I like marriage, I am agnostic, so I just think it’s cool to show commitment to a relationship, I don’t really get much into the spirituality of it.

I have decided to start blogging again, I don’t like the VLOG anymore, I am noticing that my delivery is very stiff and wooden, I haven’t taken any acting lessons ok? I’ll probably film a last episode concluding it, I find I prefer to write than perform, it wasn’t so appealing to film after the novelty wore off, also I didn’t go viral like I had hoped, lol.

I have decided to do the VLOG instead of this blog, so this may be my final entry here.

So I am quite enjoying filming the vlog, I switched to english in the second episode, if you haven’t checked it out, please do so.

Up to four episodes already, but they are all under two minutes.

Started a VLOG on youtube, don’t know if I will stick with it, but it’s a fun project. I am speaking in German in the first episode.

Why isn’t this a thing? An advanced communist ideology with the benefits of the respect of human rights, especially freedom of speech?

I should start my own party and write a manifesto, but that sounds like a lot of work.

I think after the Stalinist disaster, Communism needs a new branch to distinguish itself, both from the soviet horror and the rest of the original post-Lenin mess. A new manifesto would have to include the coming revolution in automation, which Marx of course didn’t predict.

Edit: Now that I have studied communism and socialism more, I know this was and is a thing, but it isn’t a thing in the sense that it doesn’t really exist much in the current world.

I archived the posts on the server, I will continue writing fiction. I have a collection of currently over 16000 words and am wanting to add to it and publish it as a book/ebook when I feel it is long enough.

I had an idea for a photography project I can do, I want to ask Calgarian spiritual leaders about their thoughts about their religion and schizophrenia and get a photo of them with their attached thoughts.

I should get some nicer clothes.

Edit: I know I haven’t even started with this yet, but I am still considering it.

When I was a child I referred to the government seen debating on TV as a “Kasperltheater” (from the German puppet theatre). I think this was telling that I was already somewhat paranoid as a child, thinking that the government was just a show to amuse the masses while the agents of the status quo kept running the instruments of state. Taking this further, I still often find myself thinking that contemporary forms of democracy are largely an opiate to make people feel better about their role in the world while the bourgeoisie keep on doing the same things they have been doing since they started their tenure as rulers of society.

If I become financially successful enough with any of my endeavours, I want to open a photography studio. I want to take portraits of people. I really like good portraits and I would, in fact, be willing to pay a pretty penny to have good ones taken of me and my new family. Now I remember that I said I would also open an arcade in Calgary, my current plan would be to fund someone else to manage the arcade then, I would be the money, not the brains.

I think patriotism is even too strong an emotion for one’s fatherland/motherland, it’s so outdated. I mean can’t we just be like a global sports league and have teams that we cheer for, why does it have to be so noble to be a patriot, I think it is more important to love one’s fellow humans around the planet than just one group.

I don’t think culturally whitewashing everything would be great either, I love ethnic diversity as long as it doesn’t infringe on human rights.

But shaming someone for not being patriotic or taking patriotism lightly should end. Don’t you love your family and friends more than some abstract concept of nation that just serves to manipulate people?

And how has multiculturalism failed exactly? The local multicultural food scene is vibrant. Give it a chance. It’s not like multiculturism means changing one’s own culture in favor of another, many cultures live in Calgary and I feel like this should be normal. Perhaps its failure lies in the recent resurgence of far-right parties I admit.

That’s it! I am going to mind control the world! They can’t get along? I will make them!

It must be the case that humans are actually quite different to each other, what seems intuitive to me politically is obviously not what lots of people think.

I didn’t grow up in a household that was socialist or anything like that, I am not emulating things from my childhood, what makes me such a convinced socialist? I mean I am not even exposed to that much socialist propaganda, I would like to think that I just thought it sounded right. Why are there so many people voting for regressive politicians? I wish I could experience being another human being so that I could truly know their thought process, I am curious how different they experience reality. Maybe it isn’t as important to them, it’s maybe just something that happens far away to them, so it just becomes a fashion statement? It’s frustrating, why would anyone want to live in a racist, homophobic police state? Lots of people voted for Hitler obviously, you could say that it was out of desperation though, things were really bad when he got elected, nothing like now. Are there seriously people on the top who just want to mess with people? Must be. Who would want less security from the government? I don’t get it. Is it really that important to be in a dog eat dog world that people would fight for it? It’s sounds stupid to me I am sorry.

It is nice to have variety in many things, but I wouldn’t mind if people thought more like me.

And where does all this hate come from? I understand punishing a criminal, or looking down on backward cultural practices. But just because you are of a different race? It’s all so god damned stupid.

I supported Bernie and got Trump, lately I am more and more glad that I don’t have to spend eternity here.

I no longer live alone, I moved in with my fiance and her son. It’s definitely less lonely and that is good, but her son sure is a handful.

I had a psychotic break in the summer and wound up in the mental ward again, it was a bummer. I am now on an increased dose, I hope that prevents this from happening again, I am really sick of it and thought it wouldn’t happen again since it had been over three years. Though I must say on the increased dose I have even less symptoms, also now that I have classes on campus again and live with people my sleep is more regulated, which probably helps too.

I dunno, I have mentioned that I was all conflicted about my national identity and so on. Screw national identity, I want to be a human first. It’s really just like a fashion choice, I have stated that I didn’t think of “Garfield” for example as American when I was a child, it was just “Garfield”, so it was learned behavior and a choice. Though cultural and regional distinctiveness is cool I don’t think it should define us to any deep extent. We should be good humans first. Patriotism is also just a way to manipulate the masses, Marx was right.

I don’t really like answering the question “Where are you from” anyways.

Also, you can’t really be neighbors with a whole city or nation, you can be neighbors with your neighbors. It’s not like I know every member of nation personally, I have my circle of friends and family and that is my nation.

It’s strange how the mind works, as mentioned I do believe there is more meaning to existence than is readily visible. I am not a bible thumper by any stretch of the imagination though, since I have had no holy visions and won’t take another person’s word for what religion or mythology have true stories. It was briefly comforting me since the fact that I do believe something beyond cold scientific process is going on in our reality might mean there is also more in store for me than just death.

The strange part of how the mind works is referring to how this metaphysical thought is easily transplanted by more mundane things, like checking facebook, or worrying about my status in society. I wish I were more focused on the important metaphysical thoughts than on the basic thoughts of day to day drudgery, after all, this life appears to be fairly straightforward, short, and perhaps meaningless compared to the endless possibilities of existence.

I worry too much about my future I feel, I mean to worry about it all is obviously smart, but I worry all the time. I worry if I will ever have anything resembling a career, and honestly I don’t really need one to get by, it would be good for my self-worth and all, but I have limitations that hinder me for fully realizing myself as an adult.

I need to be cool, realize that I have it pretty good and that anything that comes my way will be dealt with.

Also, I have more support now with Tammy, which is awesome, I didn’t think guys like me get to have ladies, especially successful ladies.

The first U.S. VP debate was streamed live on twitter, please twitter do more of this, you should have sport events and more on twitter live, for a fee of course.

Oh yeah, the debate, it seems the basic defense for Trump’s outbursts seems to be that he doesn’t mean it and he isn’t a seasoned politician. He still rubs me the wrong way.

I do worry that realists have it all figured out and I am just a naive idealist hoping that basic human nature doesn’t always triumph in everything.

Darwin depresses me, I have to believe that people can be nice, maybe if the elite weren’t so greedy people could be free to be nicer. Things like the welfare queen myth don’t help, and propaganda from the late 19th century in America was basically the same, though with African American men doing the same kind of thing.

If you are a Realist, just note that the American Dream isn’t helpful when getting virtuous citizens, I know I conflict in ideology a bit because I claim to be an Individualist and I don’t think everyone’s primary engine of motivation should be to make it to the top, since that isn’t realistic or helpful for most people. I suffer from this as well, I fantasize about being important and successful of course, but I try to think of how being good makes life better. And as always, ethics before religion.

If Marx was right about Capitalism eventually crushing itself, maybe all this global trade liberalization can set the stage for a truly global revolution to happen much more smoothly. Since the global trade liberalization and removal of borders can even out cultural differences if it includes a cultural component (it does). So the world will be culturally very Western (unless the rising economic powers in the other parts of the world start pumping out more monocultural components like Bollywood, Kung-Fu, and Anime). If only the “Clash of Civilizations” didn’t appear to be a currently active ingredient of international relations, mind you ISIS will eventually go away I hope.

If Trump is elected President, it will just embolden the kind of people who like the kind of racist xenophobic filth that spews from his mouth.

There are just too many anarchist hackers! Imagine an election being hacked! That would be a disaster!

And it should be a tiny girl.

I think letter writing campaign and petitions accessible from the computer are a good way to keep individuals interested in politics. Online media also helps giving people an ability to feel like they matter no matter how small the situation. Accepting micro donations from the computer also helps people keep their interest since they can speak with their money, and feel like they are part of something greater than their individual lives. Blogs teach us that are thoughts matter even if they are just for private or inner circle activity.

Edit: Yeah, it’s nice and all, but is it enough?

The VR headsets need to be more convenient to get mass market appeal. These wires gotta go and they have to be lighter.

I like to think while I am doing certain things, one weird thing that helped me have a very intense thought process was watching multiple entertainment video streams at once, my mind was drawing independent conclusions while being stimulated, ironic considering video entertainment is often used to numb the higher thought process. It was related to the videos and yet related to my innermost thoughts at the same time, it’s probably because the mind can’t focus on any one stream and therefore plays around with itself. The choice of video is obviously important too, it should definitely not be porn! 😀

Thinking in silence does work though, it’s just lonely here.

I feel that all this aggression in media serves as a substitute motivator to get people working. #Illuminati

Internet piracy wasn’t illegal when I started it.

It minimizes celebrity worship!

I love that there is a dialogue and sharing of power with gods. Not just a totalitarian regime.

Casey and I are working on a film script. It’s about our conversations and our Friendship.

On my way to Mom’s on public transit, still haven’t caught the latest lrt model, oops just missed my station.

I do believe that mixing up mythologies is wise and useful in the interests of religious harmony.

I find it strange that the Catholic Church is possessive of me though I seek truth in the ancient Germanic Mythology. I would consider myself someone who believes in the Germanic Gods before the Catholic God. And I am a peaceful person at heart.

So I renounce my Catholicism! Hopefully nothing bad will happen because of it, there are many Religious Zealots in Calgary it appears.

The 20th Century needs to rest in peace.

The more and more I look at the news I realize that the Cold War isn’t over, the opponents have just shrouded under new flags and Rhetoric.

Have all the smartwatches

I do hope we can grow beyond systems that treat people who are poor as having “deserved” it. There are so many examples of elites participating in criminal activity, so there is little room for saying that the elite was born better, though some elite crimes (like criminalizing the poor) are not punishable offenses (unless you are a militant revolutionary).

Of course if you are poor and miserable it is more likely that you will try drugs or shoplift, but that shouldn’t be over punished. In fact I do think that stealing bread is no crime.

The reasons I don’t consider myself poor are that I don’t have to worry about shelter, food, and I can speak my mind openly without fear of the government punishing me, well unless I have a psychotic break and start spouting nonsense.

I had a government student loan in Canada and it didn’t cover all the costs associated with going to University. What gives? They expect you to do a full course load and have a job? The student loan debt is bad enough, it should at least work properly. Why can’t everywhere be like Germany? No tuition, just need the grades.

All this political primitivism, the Brexit is just a sign of this reawakening of national sovereignty movements winning against the progressive regional movements. It’s a return to old ways of doing politics, even though the E.U. is flawed as it stands it is still better than this small-minded nonsense. It has decent separation of power and voter participation, so the E.U. yet another victim of neo-liberalism and it’s out of control banking sector. But these institutions aren’t static, they can change.

The unification of the German State in the late 19th century was a good thing. We get all these high production value movies about how awful we were in the NS period, why not make a movie to make us feel good about ourselves?

Maybe it’s too early though.

I am sad, I think the fact that I am schizophrenic just harms any cause I take up if I get noticed by the masses. Maybe it’s best if I stay in the margins.

As a hive mind I think we take orders sometimes from other species, we communicate with each other. It’s weird but I am an animal friend so I think it makes things more interesting. And since we are cooperating between species we might as well be diplomatic to improve relations and resource extraction.

Even if you think it’s offensive to think like this it doesn’t mean you are right.

As a response to Doom I want to invade hell with the fallen SS. It’s how I fight demons.

I’d totally commission that video game.

I turned it into a short story, I didn’t want to drone on.

They are basically a militia, and they are so god damned inhospitable, they are so bad for business and I am so angry about it. If they love the Fatherland so much why are they hurting it?

In the developed world we have enough now, these wars should be obsolete.

I am actually not sure this is true.

After I lost my fiancee I feel like I could lose anybody and it would barely register. I wish I didn’t tick like that. I would still care, but I wouldn’t be devastated.

Edit: Not sure that is true anymore.

If you don’t respect it it’s gone. Mind you I enjoyed being a child and having it spent for me. I kinda want a personal Banker to control my spending so I eat better, stupid cigarettes.

The problem with it is that people will pre-judge people based on positive stereotypes. It’s still always best to see the individual first.

I have been reading “From Dawn to Decadence” by Jacques Barzun. I feel that it has a very astute observation that civilization goes through cycles where primitivism keeps on popping up. I think it needs to be fought, it serves no useful purpose.

I see how successful other people are in getting a decent living around me and do wish I was more healthy and lucky, I also worry that my German heritage is getting me excluded from groups but I am just not informed about it, so I have no proof, just suspicion.

I personally don’t worry much about the health issues of cigarettes, probably because I am addicted out of my mind, but it is so ridiculously expensive. I am trying the patch and am having some success, the stronger meds are dangerous because they can interfere with my anti-psychotics.

I have stopped drinking regularly, it’s become a thing I do as an occasion.

People seem to lean towards rewarding outstanding performance more than utility, it’s not logical.

I really think MJ made some great records, but hustling and getting enough money to build a private amusement park is ridiculous. It’s the reason I am not too upset about big artists getting less money due to things like spotify.

Especially when workers who are vital to the functioning of society get screwed over by their leadership.

It’s such an insulting system and it needs to be improved.

I don’t really think anyone was better than anyone else in world war 1, there were just winners and losers.

So if it isn’t about good vs. bad then I would choose the Kaiser, sue me.

It was a stupid game war though so honestly it’s best to say they were all bad governments.

I don’t subscribe to racism as having much to say about who people really are, but nonetheless some of these racists seem to be so unscientific about racism and using their guts and hearsay to profile people and categorize them based on race.

I do lie about liking or disliking things to friends and family to smooth relations. I don’t feel great about it and wonder if any of you folks are reading this and if you would be upset about it.

It was a bit more intense when I was little and I played the peer-pressure game.

It seems to me to be a feature of youth.

I really want to play a Germanic Deity in a Shadowrun campaign. Not a twink, no character sheets for Deities!

Maybe the Deity could be from an expanded Shadowrun specific Pantheon.

I have bought some rule/source books, I am so in love with the Shadowrun universe, I have bias due to my exposure to it at a young age.

I would probably try and find employment with the bureaucracy at this stage in my life so I can get a steady decent income and respectable job. I wish bureaucracies had more steel when it comes to saying no to bad leadership decisions. They should have intelligent qualified leadership outside the publicly elected officials, since getting elected by popular vote doesn’t mean you automatically make qualified leadership decisions.

I mean some politician’s only qualification seems to be knowing how to sway the public and get elected, and if that’s all you got you should not be making any important decisions. #Populism

I do like having a variety of cultures readily available as opposed to all the same, even if it’s just for diverse cuisine.

I have friends with different cultural backgrounds and I value that very highly, that wouldn’t be possible in a all-sizes fit one cultural approach.

My Father mentioned something a few times about how people just come to Calgary from all over the world make a bunch of money and just leave.

It is rude, I admit that I have had similar thoughts and have tried to move to Vienna though and now I feel like I should give back to the place that helped realize my life by settling down here.

Though Vienna had an active role in helping me too.

Edit: Among many by my reconning.

Is this the middle ages? A ruler trying to punish a Jester? We should really be beyond this.

I think that with higher living standards it is possible to be kinder to the populace than previously if you find yourself in control when trying to get the economy to thrive.

I wish there a way to get that without having to jump through all the hoops so I could read academic material and base my works off of research.

The research I have done as a student was really cool in terms of how well it functioned through online access, you just need credentials for all the portals to make use of it, and I do believe there is a black library, because I am crazy and see conspiracies everywhere. 😛

But I am fairly sure that people can be ranked according on how and how easily they can be manipulated.

I personally don’t really feel clean manipulating people too much, guess I am too much of a Gutmensch.

I worry that lots of the highly intelligent are excessively cold, probably because of historical data and all that, it’s just sad. Mind you historical data also warns of revolution if you put yourself in palaces and don’t give a damn.

The laziness is subsiding, I am getting more energetic all the time.

Mind you I am being proactive about it too, I have been guzzling coffee and doing other things to make me more active.

I am also probably getting used to my current lifestyle.

I feel like there is a modern classified way to make forbidden palaces in plain sight.

I should be a DM.

But scientists are human, and they do make mistakes and some of them are frauds or turn out to be wrong.

Since I have worries that the sex-trade is a form of slavery and people just do it to get by and prevents their actualization as humans, though I do think there are legitimate sex-addicts that do it for fun, I don’t like supporting the industry.

I think it can be a light form of prostitution.

I have something in common with Hitler, I am probably a bad artist and maybe a bad political activist/wannabe politician.

At least the cause I am in is different.

Though I’d prefer to be a successful political scientist as opposed to a politician.

I am of the belief that bad circumstances make bad people, so socialist style taking care and educating of the bottom line should be a preventative measure against the kind of mass psychosis seen in the past that leads to atrocities.

My sleep and thought process has been a bit jumbled and erratic lately, had to clean up my twitter stream and deviantart page a bit.

I hope it goes away, it’s pretty good as I write this.

It has a message that we are working towards something better, even if we won’t live to see it, it inspires striving to be better.

Also, when I was little I was very sheltered I find, and how am I going to find inspiration in the real world as a sheltered child?

Since I feel like I am being monitored, I sometimes try and provoke my watchers to come out and say hi. Mind you, that could be seen as an excuse for bad behavior.

I mean I am “crazy” I wouldn’t be surprised if there are laws requiring monitoring when people like me live in the open community.

Edit: I am not even mad about it, I don’t like to see people running loose and starting a massacre. (It is very Gestapo I admit.)

If you even have a very slight feeling that something bigger is going on in our universe than what is observable I would always do what is kind to people.

I would always bet on the forces of kindness and goodness.

It’s the right decision even if you don’t believe in anything, it’s simple reciprocity, you are kind and generally people will be kind back. It makes for a better environment to live in. As long as they aren’t war zombies.

The problem with assimilating cultures that contribute advance is that they won’t stop resisting. How much did Germany contribute as a bloodline to human advancement?

It leads to revolt, people just can’t take it.

Edit : Especially when they done fucked up.

Clan breeding exclusivity and supremacism, it’s a bad way to breed humans, it gives us less diversity to defend ourselves against disease and other assailants.

There is negative and positive racism, so it isn’t negative in itself, though it’s preferable to not have it, it’s volatile since it’s a potential source of conflict, I wonder if it can be reduced/eliminated.

Doesn’t really mean lots of money, happiness and security are worth more. Having enough money is nice though, a tip is nice too.

I feel like I am a spoil of war due to my blood.

Never wise, if successful, people will ask for miracles and you’ll look a fool.

Shows that you think life is a game. I prefer to think it is not.

Edit: Another feature of youth.

Can be foolish, it depends on whether you spend responsibly, it doesn’t really do anything for you though unless you win, and even then you might incite negative reaction if you win because it’s unearned.

I prefer sports as an engine of motivation. That includes e-sports of course.

E-sports are even less dangerous than traditional sports, so that’s even better.

Then there is brand warfare, but that can be like inter-state warfare though, especially when corporations start thinking they are government.

Time is money, and digital currency saves time.

Edit: Also eliminating cash and requiring electronic currency is a good policy to deter crime, I read an article in wired about Sweden’s situation and their leading voice in the move away from cash to prevent criminal enterprise.

Non-Government banks shouldn’t control policy. I hear that’s a problem.

I do think that they are products of their environment, I say this because of people who are descended from SS soldiers.

I don’t believe many people were born psychopaths. I am curious though.

I am primarily concerned with leaders doing psychotic things.

I worry that I might be descended from a member of the SS, since as previously stated my father was adopted.

It’s not like their creed was evil, loyalty is good, it helps make civilization, it can be abused of course. It should be discerning and not fanatic though.

If you make government weak and small, the vacuum created will be filled by business management, which would make them government. And they don’t have a well made system that prevents them from making bad decisions.

#Crowningfools

No person should have to suffer eternal hellfire for a short lifetime of sin.

Most people try to help, but we can end up suffering for it.

I am conserving water, one does get smelly though. 😦

I am not so sure it is wise to make people so easily venerable, especially when it comes to shallow entertainment.

I am more of a cosmopolitan than a son of any nation, I still like my heritage though and considering what my heritage is I am strangely proud, that’s due to my like of Individualism, or put psychologically my ego.

I wish it were easier/cheaper to get media from all nations, I am curious about nollywood and I am nostalgic for Bud Spencer and Terence Hill movies, I also like to hear different languages in film and prefer them with subtitles.

It wouldn’t be that difficult to do, Itunes already has the ability to browse different region’s libraries, you just need to be in the respective country or cheat the system in place somehow.

If used responsibly Google Glass would be a great tool for journalists, filmmakers, and photographers, been a fan of the concept since I saw it in Transmetropolitan.

I am wondering if I can use it to escape like on a vacation, I remember having good experiences with early VR in he 90s.

Kinda want to be environmentally friendly and reduce my carbon footprint, flying makes you worse than a combustion engine car driver.

Social media; it’s a way to keep young academics from running away to the world’s power centers.

They are pretty, but insulting, prefer to get paid/compensated.

It’s a nightmare and sorry I do support military campaigns to prevent that from happening.

I became infatuated with Germanic mythology because of Valkeries, mind you I was introduced to them with the “Valkyrie Profile” picture of them, since some of the old stories of them are gross.

But it stuck, it’s my mind you know. I have a problem with the fact that I adore women, it’s not fair to paint pictures of them and wanting them to conform to my picture.

This feels a bit weird, but I am revising my stance, people need heroes to function. I just wish we were more self-actualized to not need that, it’s a weakness that I am never quite comfortable with. And different kinds of people have different kinds of heroes.

Also, elected heads of state and government end up being pretty much the same thing anyways, especially as evidenced in political families.

I do think that constitutional and democratic monarchies are wise though.

Edit: And celebrities function much the same way.

I like how Peter the Great supposedly disguised himself and mixed with the common folk. Being in charge and yet being able to go anywhere is cool.

I do have to admit that I fantasize about ruling from the ground without all the required ceremony. I fantasize about a grand spectacle though too. I just think that if I were a ruler it would be more honorable to not be a snob.

The thing about not having a cold logical mind is that we can be creative in interpreting art.
The meaning is ultimately something everyone creates for themselves.

It’s just I feel it’s potentially more dangerous.

I have been throwing around the thought that we actually live in the future and I am in school not being told yet what year it is.

I am a customer (I am a night owl), but I do feel guilty about the hours they have to work. I have worked rotating day/night shifts in security and it’s not pleasant, though the place I was a guard at was nice and it was peaceful and I even had time to read while on duty. I feel that shift-work like that is very militant.

I am also somewhat lethargic, I consider it an illness.

I don’t like being a snob and do generally enjoy video more than literature, it’s less work to consume. It has a lot of potential as edutainment.

Edit: Video-Games even more so, because they make you feel like you are a part of the creation. More attention grabbing.

I think basic income is a great idea, I find that I have time to pursue and work on what I want instead of being wage-enslaved. And from what I can gather experiments have been promising.

People who are com-system dependent can be taken control/advantage of with false messages. Something a Luddite doesn’t have to worry about.

Everybody would have to be informed properly and possess the capacity for intelligent educated judgment to have a useful democracy. Otherwise Hitler and other such nonsense is possible.

I feel it makes me like a Nazi-Scientist. The world is my lab.

#Darkthoughts

Edit: Political Science is scary.

I want my office to be on a bullet train. My father would disapprove I think, he thinks it’s typical businessman.

I can multitask though, I can enjoy the ride and do work.

I feel that men are mind-controlled by women and that women are secretly the master gender.

Which is a silly thought it would appear, I mean they get treated like they are less than men and their work at home is taken for granted.

I’m still a feminist, my reason triumphs over my more messed up thought processes under this medication. Probably doesn’t hurt that I adore women so much that I would enjoy it. Doesn’t mean I hate being a man, I still indulge in my maleness.

Humans have more capability for change than many admit, they just do what is comfortable and excuse bad behavior with the justification that it’s how they were made.

These are just musings, if you like any of my ideas I strongly recommend you do research on the topic, I am just a student.

“I wasn’t asked to be made” is what comes to mind. But it’s human to have children so it’s also a basic human right.

Edit: Personally I am glad I was created.

One thing I am curious about is how this affects how you are a person, you don’t have anyone looming over you, so you are more free. I just feel that it would make you very grumpy but more of an individual.

The novel “The White Plague” makes an excellent point about armed insurrection and terrorism in the modern world, we have members of elite now that can do terrible things to the populace. It’s extremely shitty.

Dumping people is a mean thing to do, but it can help some people grow.

Child protection laws are good, interference with their development is very bad for their proper maturation. I am talking about child predators.

The problem with all this Individualism and “everyone is a beautiful” idealization is that it might encourage criminals to think it’s their right to commit a crime to protect their human rights.

I worry that total surveillance and micro-management is the contemporary way of organizing society.

Wanting to be really mature is childish, just a thought.

It’s in many cases unpaid, lot’s of people numb themselves with mindless entertainment and leave the thinking to others.

#Antiintellectualism

If it is a success and I cash out I will become one of “those” people, this way I can stay on the ground level.

I suppose I might be a workaholic that way.

I think that university grading is extremely simple, especially in the humanities and arts, it’s not a measure of how well you know and apply your knowledge or what value your art has.

I mean obviously in the trades, engineering, and physical sciences you can see how well someone does their work in terms of how well something works. Medicine is also more tricky, but you need to know the fundamentals.

#Excuseforbadgrades

I would share most of the credit for my well-being with my family and friends.

So that’s the corporation I would make rich if I got rich.

You kinda have to give your dues to businesses to get by anyways.

And government and laws are just usually taken for granted, hence taxes.

The cold-war era news on German television was so much more urgent and serious, the new style is so much more leisurely and stylish.

I get nostalgic for the cold-war war reports, they had such a cold scientific edge to them. As a child it made the news more exciting, making me feel like I was a part of some big event. I am getting old.

What I don’t like about European nations that are against the E.U. is that it sometimes reeks of supremacism, I especially feel that the British and Russians think they are better than the rest of us and they don’t need to work together.

Also, they will trade with the rest of Europe anyways, just with a more primitive less democratic mechanism/treaties guiding the interactions.